Sleep is for wimps...

The girls went to the opthamologist yesterday. Mike was working so I was flying solo for this appointment. I tried to get an appointment on a day when Mike would be home, but with the doctor's vacation and hospital schedule, we just couldn't work it out. They were supposed to be seen by this doctor the week after they were discharge from the hospital, and now it's week 4 - so I had to take what I could get. And of course, the only appointment that they had available was at 11am - feeding time - so, I adjusted their schedules in the morning so I'd be feeding them an hour later - I fed them at 5:30am instead of 5am and then bumped it further for the next feeding, feeding them at 9am rather than 8am - this way they wouldn't be due to eat until noon. So after I fed them at 9am, I packed them up and got them to the doctor. Of course, the second that I get Lia into her car seat, she pooped - so I had to take her upstairs and change her. Every time I wiped her, more and more poop came out - it was never ending. Finally she's done and I get them in the car. Lia, having just ate and pooped, was in her glory - she went right to sleep. Maddie was awake and alert - and being cute. I watched her in the mirror on the way to the doctors office and she was just looking around, playing with her feet, being super cute. I get to the parking lot, strap them into the stroller and we're off to the office. The second that we enter the doctors office, Maddie starts to lose her mind. Mad Maddie has entered the building people - stand back! She's letting the entire hospital know that she's there! Then, the doctor comes out and says that he wants to put the drops in their eyes now because it takes about 10 mintues to set in (they were having their eyes dilated). So now they're having their eyes held open and having drops put in - in the middle of the waiting room - this didn't go well. So now they're both screaming. But Lia, being the laid back chick that she is, stopped crying almost immediately after it was over. Sir Scream-a-Lot on the other hand (a new nickname for Maddie), was not so easily settled - these drops awoke her inner beast in a whole new way. So I took her out of her car seat to console her. The only way to console her is for me to rock and swing her to an oblivion - so here I am in the middle of this waiting room doing just that. She finally calms down - thankfully Lia is just hanging out not making a peep. When it was time to bring the girls into the exam room, the doctor actually came out and wheeled the stroller into the room so that I wouldn't have to put Maddie down - I guess he was tired of the screams - haha. So we get into the exam room and the doctor starts with Maddie since I'm already holding her. Long story short, Maddie is not a fan of having people hold her eyes open and flash lights in them. But, the good news is - her eyes are complete, all the blood vessels are intact and she doesn't show any signs of vision problems! When she was done I had to put her down and of course, she continued to scream. As I was getting Lia out of her car seat, the doctor was trying to get Maddie to take her binky but she wouldn't take it. He just looked at me and said "she won't even stop with a pacifier" - to which I said, "there's no pacifying this kid - we're just going to have to get through Melia's exam with her screaming in the background - I'm used to it doc, it doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you" - to which he said "oh, I make babies and kids cry every day, so I'm fine with it" - haha - so that was that - we left Maddie to work out her frustrations and we moved on to Melia. Melia didn't cry once through the entire exam. She's sooooo relaxed this kid. And just like her sister, her eyes were looking perfect - complete and no signs of vision problems! So they don't have to go back to the eye doctor - woohoo! Madison calmed down as we strolled back to the car. I really have no idea what her deal was. Apparently she just hated that office because as soon as walked out, she was fine. I guess she just wanted to make a public performance - how awesome!

So we got home and the afternoon was smooth. I got the girls back on their regular feeding schedule and all was well. Then, at about 7pm - the inner beast was awoken again. Maddie screamed almost non-stop from the hours of 7pm to about 3am. She would stop screaming for a while if I stood up and did the rock/swing move - but the second I sat down she'd cry,even if I continued to rock while sitting. Her comfort apparently depends on my discomfort - more awesomeness! Haha.  But, she had to be put down when I had to feed Melia, so I swaddled her, positioned her on her side (which she prefers over laying on her back) and put her in the swing - I set that bad boy on the highest setting it had and had it swing her until it could swing no more. Eventually, she calmed down and went to sleep - but only for a little while. This routine of either me rocking/swinging her or her being swaddled and swinging in the swing went on for hours. I'd say in an 8 hour period there was about 2 hours of intermittent silence and 1/2 hour of sleep for mommy - and that may be an over-estimation. What made her evenutally stop screaming you ask? She pooped. Since the girls have been off of breast milk and on new formulas I've been keeping track of how often both girls are pooping to make sure that they don't get constipated, and they've both gone from pooping 5-8 times per day to pooping maybe once per day. I knew that Maddie hadn't pooped since late Tuesday night, so I figured that her behavior may have been a result of a bit of constipation - and I guess it was.  So that's something that I need to keep an eye on in the coming days. According to the pediatrician, constipation is only a concern if they haven't pooped in 3 days. THREE DAYS??? She was this upset after not pooping for about 36 hours - I can't even imagine what would happen if she didn't poop for 3 days! I'll talk to the doctor more about this at their appointment next week - unless of course we have a recurring issue with this before then, in that case, the doctor better either let me give her a suppository - or he better come to my house and babysit! ;-P

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Noteable landmark - I think that Maddie has come around and make actually not hate bathtime anymore either. I'm not saying that she likes it - but she didn't scream through it on Tuesday night, so I'll take it.


Noteable Mommy and Daddy exchange - So Mike was working last night and as I've already mentioned, Maddie was in rare form just about all night. So when he got home it was time for me to tag out and go take a nap. I woke up at about 10:30am and Mike had the girls already dressed. Lia was wearing a pink & brown polka dot pants outfit and Maddie was wearing a little yellow dress with an undershirt underneath. At this stage of the game, I'm still having fun dressing the girls alike. I know, I know...they need to have their own identities, blah blah....I'll stop doing this as they get older, but for now, I think it's cute. Even if it's not the same outfit, but different outfits that coordinate with each other, I like that just as much. So anyway, here's what happened...


Mommy: Oh, you got the girls dressed already...great! Thanks.
Daddy: No problem.
Mommy: Why didn't you put them in the same outfit?
Daddy: Because I dressed Lia first and Maddie doesn't fit into that outfit yet - it's too big on her.
Mommy: No it's not, it's just a little loose on her, it would be fine.
Daddy: Your idea of 'a little loose' isn't so accurate.
Mommy: What is that supposed to mean?
Daddy: You're so obsessed with having them dress alike that you make Maddie look ridiculous in some of the outfits you put her in.
Mommy: I DO NOT!! Okay, so one pajama outfit that I put her in was stretching it, I admit that - but other than that, I don't make her look ridiculous.
Daddy: Yeah, you do. I'd rather have her in clothes that fit than clothes that look alike.
Mommy: Oh, so you'd rather her in ridiculous colors that don't match.
Daddy: What do you mean?
Mommy: She's wearing a YELLOW dress with a PINK undershirt!
Daddy: What? Pink and yellow match!
Mommy: WOW!
HAHAHAHAHAH! More fun conversations in the Marcino household. So I dress my kid in oversized clothes like a clown and Mike is colorblind. Good times. :-)

Could it be?

I don't want to jinx it, but this special formula may have done the trick! Madison has been on this new formula for just over 24 hours now and there has been a huge difference! She's still spitting up a bit, but it's nothing compared to what it was - and more importantly, she hasn't been crying in pain! So, I called the medical supply company that will deliver the formula to us and I set up an order for a case of the good stuff (a case being 6 cans which will probably only last about a month or so). They'll contact my insurance company to see how much of it they will cover.

Between Mike working on Saturday night and me having to do all of the night-time feedings solo, and then Madison being up all night on Sunday, I went to bed at 7pm last night and woke up early this morning to do the 5am and 8am feedings - then I took a nap from 9:30am - noon today. I finally feel rested. Just in time for Mike to go back to work tomorrow.


Tomorrow the girls have their follow up eye exams with the pediatric opthamologist. They are full term now gestationally, so their eyes should be complete. Another day, another doctor's appointment! Just when I thought I had a week without an appointment, I remembered that we had this appointment scheduled. Next week we have their follow up with Dr. Sunaryo and they go to the pediatrician for their immunizations. Should be a fun upcoming week!

Boobs, Formula and Missing Pants

So I decided to stop pumping. I struggled with this decision for a while over the guilt that I felt by stopping, but I just had to do it. The pumping had become too much for me. There was no way for me to keep up with the supply that the girls were demanding, and as my surplus supply in the freezer wore down, I became more stressed out about how I was going to handle it all - and with the stress, my milk supply started to diminish even more. So, I made the decision to stop stressing myself out about it. I never wanted to pump. Had the girls been born full term, I wouldn't have. So when I made the decision to pump, because breast milk was the best thing for them while in the NICU, I made it my goal to pump until their due date and then I'd see where my head was at. Well, my due date hit and my head wanted to stop - so I did - and I felt (and still do feel) guilty about it - but to preserve what's left of my sanity, it had to be done. For all you breast feeding loving moms who are outraged that I stopped, don't worry, I was punished accordingly.  I'll say that the milk drying up process is probably the most painful thing I've ever gone through. I'd rather have another c-section than go through that again. My boobs were rock hard, enormous, distorted and throbbing in pain. My sister-in-law put frozen cabbage leafs on her breasts to relieve the pain when she went through it - I got to the point where I'd try anything. So I tried it, but couldn't keep doing it. Once the frozen cabbage leafs made contact with my boobs, they wilted from the heat of my breasts and before long, I was steaming cabbage in my bra. I'm not sure if the cabbage thing is just about putting something cold on your breasts to relieve the pain, or if cabbage itself has some magical power. Regardless, I did it until I couldn't stand my own stench anymore. I can still smell the cabbage on my skin. Gross.


In other news, we took the girls to the pediatric gastroenterologist, Dr. Sunaryo, on Friday to try to get some answers and help with their reflux issues. He listened to my description of their symptoms, then he listened to their chests and tested their stool. After I listed all of Madison's symptoms he was convinced that she did in fact have acid reflux. Once he listened to her chest, he confirmed it. He stated that she may require a stronger medication than the Pepcid that she's already on, but before giving her a stronger medication, he wanted to try some food changes and an increase of the Pepcid. We discussed formula options since the milk that I had stored in the freezer would only last another few days and I had stopped pumping the day prior. He suggested Alimentum, a hypoallergenic formula for babies with colic, food allergies and sensitive stomachs. Melia's issues were of little concern. She spits up and gets irritated after a feeding only here and there. I told the doctor that I couldn't say for certain if Melia even really had reflux or if somethng that I was eating and she was getting through my breast milk was bothering her stomach, since her symptoms seemed so sporatic. Dr. Sunaryo listened to her chest and stated that she does have some level of reflux, but it clearly wasn't as bad as Madison's. He prescribed Pepcid for Melia and said that the formula that I have been using to supplement my breast milk, Neosure, was probably good for her to stay on. He also tested both of the girls stools for traces of blood and they both did have trace amounts of blood in their stool. This could be from the acid reflux irritating their stomachs or it could be an indication of a food allergy, mainly an allergy to dairy or milk-based proteins, which would be found in breast milk regardless of what I was eating. If they are in fact allergic to dairy, then my diet would definitely have an effect on them. I wasn't avoiding dairy by any means. I'd eat cereal in the morning, snack on string cheese during the day, often have dinner that included cheese somewhere in there and sometimes top dinner off with a bowl of ice cream for dessert. So yeah, there was no shortage of dairy in my diet. So as it turns out, changing from breast milk to formula is probably the better thing for them at this point and Dr. Sunaryo told me to start the girls on formula right away and not to use what I had left in the freezer. We were sent home with a new food plan for the girls, Pepcid increase for Maddie and starting it for Melia, and a follow up appointment in 10 days to check their stools again and see where they stand with their reflux symptoms.


On our way home we stopped to get some Alimentum for Maddie. One can of the powdered formula, not even the pre-made stuff, was $27! Wow. I calculated that this would last about 6 days while Maddie is taking only 70mls (a little more than 2 ounces) every 3 hours. Once her feedings get increased to 4, 6, and 8 ounces, we're screwed! But, we gotta do what we gotta do. So we get home and start Maddie up on the Alimentum immediately. We gave her the Alimentum for approximately 12 feedings, about a day and a half. Her feedings got progressively slower, taking upwards of 45 minutes (after 30 minutes, she begins to burn more calories than she is taking in, so a 45 minute feeding takes more from her than she gets out of it). She was refusing to take her bottle and when she would, she'd spit most of it out as she was eating. Taking all of her bottles in full is very important for Madison because we're trying to boost her weight. Late Saturday night, after having to syringe half of her feeding into her mouth because she wouldn't accept the bottle, I said enough is enough. For the next feeding I switched her to the Neosure that Melia is on and she took that bottle in 10 minutes flat - like she was starving! I felt so bad. Here I was giving her this special formula, trying to make things better for her, and it only made things worse. So yesterday and last night she took all of her feedings without a problem - but from 2am on, the aftermath from the feedings were something awful. I was up all night with her, trying to console her. She was screaming and vommiting all night long, with vomit coming out of her nose and everything. It was so sad and so hard to witness her in so much pain. And all last night and this morning it seemed that everytime we had her calmed down after a feeding, it was just about time for the next feeding - and the cycle would start back up all over again. Last night was the worst I've seen her since the first days that she was home. So this morning I called Dr. Sunaryo and he was torn as to whether to just start Maddie on the stronger acid reflux medication, or to try another formula. He decided to try another formala - this time, an even more expensive formula, Elecare, which costs about $65 per can, but can be purchased through and paid for by my insurance. PHEW! It's a partially digested formula which is pre-digested and broken down so much that it's much easier on the stomach. I called one of the social workers from the NICU and she said that they had a can of this formula on hand that they could give me as a sample so I could try it right away and see if she will tolerate it before I order it through my insurance company. So this afternoon I went to the hospital to pick up this new formula and we tried it out for the first time during her 2pm feeding. She took it, but reluctantly - and she was actually pretty good afterwards. The 5pm feeding took a lot of effort to get down, but finally, she took it. She spit some of it up, but she seems to be doing a little bit better than she was doing with the Alimentum, so we'll see what happens as the night goes on. If the night doesn't go well, I'll call Dr. Sunaryo in the morning and see what the next plan of action is. In the meantime, watching Madison go through all this while we find the magic potion of food and medicine for her is pain-staking. 

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**Notable landmark for the weekend - Melia finally took a bath on Saturday night (8/22/09) without screaming through the whole thing. She actually looked like she semi-enjoyed it!


**Notable Mommy and Daddy exchange for the day - here's a recap of a conversation had by me and Mike today. I went to the hospital to get Maddie's new formula and Mike stayed home with the girls. When I got home, it was feeding time. So I picked up Madison and noticed that she was in a onesie with no pants on. This is what happened:


Me: Where are Madison's pants?
Mike: What do you mean?
Me: Oh, they're here - underneath her. Why are Madison's pants off? What happens here when I'm not around?
Mike: I have no idea how her pants came off...she must've taken them off herself.


HAHAHAHAHAHA! I can't stop laughing even as I type this. Mike doesn't think it's so funny - he said that I'm over-tired and delerious, but seriously - my husband just told me that my 11 week old daughter who can barely move somehow managed to take her pants off. That's pretty awesome.  

My Due Date

It's finally here. The FINAL milestone Thursday - my due date. Today, August 20th, the girls are officially 40 weeks gestational age. They are officially considered newborns. Today everything resets and we go back to day one as far as the doctors are concerned. All of their developmental progress and growth will be measured by today's date - this is what they call their "adjusted age." Their adjusted age will always be 11 weeks behind their chronological age since they were born 11 weeks premature. Even though the girls were born 11 weeks ago (tomorrow), they are actually considered 1 day old as of today when it comes to determining where they should be growth-wise and developmentally.

The girls had an appointment with the apnea clinic today, which worked out well because we were able to get their weights and heights today - so we could see where they are on the exact day that they were expected to enter the world. I had "coming home" outfits picked out for the girls before I went out on bedrest and realized that they wouldn't make it full term. Since they were so tiny and still in preemie clothes when they came home, I wasn't able to put them in that outfit. So what better day than today to put them in that outfit. I dressed them up extra pretty to bring them to the apnea clinic today. Mike thought I was crazy. And so did Dr. Kamtorn. But it was so fitting to have them wear that special outfit on the day that they were "supposed" to be born - and on a day that they were going to the hospital. I dressed them up and as we walked back into the house from our appointment, I pretended in my mind that we were making that first trip home from the hospital. Okay, so maybe Mike is right - I'm a little crazy. ;-)

Speaking of crazy, what's crazy is making comparisons from 11 weeks ago. So much has happened. They've changed, developed and grown so much. As of today, Madison is 5lbs 9oz and 19 inches long - compare this to 2lbs 0.4oz and 14 1/2 inches long at birth. Yet even with this progress, when Dr. Kamtorn put Maddie on the scale she called her a "shrimp" - haha - I thought that was really cute. Melia is 7lbs 3oz and 20 1/2 inches long - compare this to 2lbs 12oz at birth and 15 inches long at birth. According to Dr. Kamtorn, Lia's weight is in line with the "average American newborn baby" and her height is above the average. Amazing! I can go on for hours about the thens and nows, but I'll spare you - you've all read the blog and have followed along on this amazing journey. You've all seen how far the girls have come - and if you've forgotten, just take a look at the first entry of this blog. Reading through the first week and looking back at the pictures, it's so surreal. Only 11 weeks later, it feels like a distant memory - but the emotions flood back with such force as I look back on it all.

Today is the day that I can say we've made it - despite every obstacle thrown in our way - despite being forced into the world 11 weeks early, the girls made it - WE ALL MADE IT! No longer do I have to look ahead to the day that they were "supposed" to be born. Today I can look ahead and see nothing but endless opportunities.

They say that life is like a box of chocolates (insert Forrest Gump voiceover), you never know what you're gonna get. Well I'm the type of girl who buys the box of chocolates with the cheat sheet inside - you know, where there is a picture of each chocolate and a detailed description of everything inside of it - so I can pick the exact one that I want. I cheat with my chocolate because I'm just not into surprises. I'm not a very spontaneous person. I'm a planner to the Nth degree. And this is why having a "due date" when you're pregnant is such a great thing. You don't quite know WHAT to expect, but at least you know WHEN to expect it. I'm that "need to know" type of person. I don't like to turn the corner into the unexpected. I don't like to not know what's up ahead. The day that the girls were born I was so taken off guard. Even though I had been in the hospital for almost 3 weeks - and I'd been on bedrest for over 6 weeks - all in the anticipation of the fact that I could go into labor at any moment, I was still in a state of shock when it all started to happen. Even though it was expected that I could go into labor at any moment, it still came totally unexpectedly at that moment. I truly believed that I'd be able to hold on longer. I don't like surprises - but June 5th, I got the surprise of my life. From that day on I had no idea what to expect. At that time, if I was able to have it my way - if I was able to have a cheat sheet that I created with all the details of the girls birth, they would've been born on August 20th - exactly when they were "due" to enter the world - planned, expected. But now, I'd have it no other way but to have them born on June 5th. They are the greatest, most appreciated, surprise of my life - and for the next 11 weeks they continued to surprise me every single day with their strength and resilience. They are my two little boxes of chocolate without the cheat sheet. They are unpredictable - they are sweet - and they are worth every pound that they've put on my body.

**top and bottom pictures - Maddie on the left, Lia on the right**
**middle left picture - Lia**
**middle right picture - Maddie**

PICTURES

Melia in her panda jammers - ready for bed...

...and now all swaddled up. Snug as a bug in a rug. ;-)
Sisters hanging out...Maddie is on the left and Lia is on the right

Fun with Maddie back home and Daddy at work

I know I should've written sooner to let everyone know that Maddie came home on Friday afternoon and is doing well - it's just been hard to get a free moment. So, I'll pick up where we left off.

Madison had her blood transfusions on Thursday afternoon and early Friday morning. Her hemoglobin levels doubled as a result, so she was ready for discharge by noon-time on Friday - so she was there for just over 24 hours, though it seemed like she was gone forever! Since Mike was at work, my friend Vanessa and her husband, Chris, watched Melia while I went to pick up Madison from the hospital. Yup, Melia had her first babysitting experience on her 10 week birthday. I actually left her with someone else for a couple hours! I mean, Vanessa is a nurse and Chris is a doctor - so it wasn't too hard for me to leave her knowing she was in excellent hands.

I got Madison home at about 2pm and it was time for her and Lia to eat. After that, it was time for a pediatrician appointment. They had their weekly appointment scheduled for Thursday, but I had to cancel since Maddie was going into the hospital. This was my first time venturing out with the girls on my own and I must say, it went very smoothly. The timing was perfect, just after a feeding, so the girls were content and with their full tummies, the car ride put them right to sleep. Maddie weighed in at 5lbs 1.5oz (1 full ounce more than the day before when she weighed in at the NICU - we can probably attribute the extra blood for the weight gain) and Lia weighed in at 6lbs 7oz. I thought that the girls were making pretty good progress with their weight. Madison was up 8oz from the previous week and Melia was up 7oz - but the pediatrician wasn't so impressed with their weight gain. Between concerns with their weight gain and concerns about their acid reflux, he referred the girls to see a pediatric gastroenterologist. Maddie is having a lot of trouble with her feedings - during and afterwards. It can be really difficult to get her to take the bottle sometimes and even if she doesn't put up a fight when eating, the aftermath is terrible - she spits so much of her food right back up and cries and wiggles around in discomfort afterwards - sometimes for the entire 3 hours period in between feedings. Once she finally calms down, it's time to feed her again and the process starts all over again. We try to either hold her or put her down in a position that will help her digest and make her comfortable, but there are times where nothing can help her. She's on Pepcid for her acid reflux, which in the first week or so made a great difference - but now it seems to be getting worse. We're really hoping that the specialist can figure out the magic potion to make her feel better. Melia has the reflux too and at times is clearly uncomfortable, but hers seems much less intense than Madison's. I think she could benefit from a little Pepcid and that should do the trick - but I'm not even sure that she even needs that - as she gets bigger, she seems to be getting a little better day by day. She still has her moments, but I guess when I compare her eating habits and reactions after eating to Maddie, it's easy to see that she is in a better place than Maddie is. I'm waiting on a call back from the specialist to make an appointment for them both. My pediatrician called the specialist to ensure that they get an appointment for this week because he doesn't want to wait any longer to get them seen due to concerns for their weight gain - and I'm happy that they'll be seen this week so that I don't have to watch them in pain anymore.

So between picking up Madison from the hospital and taking the girls to the doctor, Friday afternoon turned out to be pretty eventful. Friday night went pretty smooth also. Not having Mike home for us to split up the feedings was a change of pace - waking up every 3 hours was exhausting - especially with having to console Madison after each feeding for undetermined periods of time before being able to put her down. It made for a long night, but all things considered, it went very well. The girls both realized that they were hungry at their 5pm feeding, so they double teamed me - screaming from the pure starvation of not having eaten in 3 whole hours. But, it's nothing that the proper positioning on a boppy pillow and the right placement of a burp cloth couldn't fix. Maddie even help up her arm to help. At 10 weeks old, she can hold her own bottle! haha. :-)

I was pretty tired on Saturday. Once Mike got home I tagged out and tagged daddy in. I then spent the morning in bed - and I spent the majority of the afternoon and evening taking naps on the couch in between feedings. It didn't help that I got a migraine on Friday night that didn't go away until Sunday. Two babies + migraine = no fun. But we made it through.

**Notable landmarks for the week - Maddie hit 5lbs and Lia is officially out of preemie clothes/diapers - she's all newborn all the way! As of yesterday, Melia is eating 80mls (2 1/2 ounces) every 3 hours and Maddie is taking 70mls every 3 hours (we're adding a teaspoon of formula to the breast milk in each bottle to give them a calorie boost to help them gain weight)

**Notable poop story for the week - picture this: It's 2am - feeding time at the Marcino zoo. Madison looks irritated, so I decide to feed her first (rare event as Melia usually eats first since she eats faster and can be put down afterwards in a more timely fashion). I take her out of the bassinet and into the nursery to change her diaper. No poop in the diaper - another rare event. I think to myself - awesome, a quick diaper change! Well, as I've said before and I really should've known, there's no such thing as a quick diaper change - especially with Madison. So I get the new diaper on, snap her all up and of course, as I've said before - THEN she poops. UGH. I'm instantly annoyed, even though clearly it's not her fault. But hey, it's 2am, I still have to feed her and another baby - and all I really want to do is sleep! So I wait a couple minutes to make sure she's done. After not hearing anything for a few minutes I decide that it's safe. I clean her up and get a new diaper on. This time, as soon as the new diaper gets on, she does it again. I think to myself - well, at least she didn't wait until I snapped her up again. I wait another few minutes and once it's thought to be safe, I change her again - here we go - this time, she doesn't wait until I even have the new diaper underneath her (which by the way, I do extremely quickly - I always have the new diaper opened and ready to swoop underneath almost instantly as I pull the dirty one out) - as I'm doing the swoop - she explodes - poop EVERYWHERE!!! It's on the changing pad - it's on her pajamas, of course she managed to put her foot into it, so it's on her foot - it's on my hand and forearm - it's on the dresser - it's on the wipes warmer - it's on the diaper caddy - and of course, it managed to spray over several clean diapers inside the diaper caddy. By now it's almost 2:30am and I haven't even started feeding her yet, nevermind Melia who is sleeping through all the poop induced chaos. I have to change her and clean poop off of everything that was within 10 feet of her butt during this diaper change. 2am - one diaper change - countless diapers - never ending poop. I say again - ahhhh, motherhood. :-)

**pictures to follow**

Missing Maddie

People always say that they don't know how I do it. That they can't imagine having to take care of two babies. They can't imagine how hard it must be and how tired I must be. But I gotta tell you - after last night, waking up for only one baby - I have to say - I'm not sure how moms of one baby do it.

Not having Maddie home was strange. The house felt empty without her. I missed watching her funny faces at 2am. I miss her so much.

The end.

Deja Vu

Walking into the NICU today was such an odd feeling - like a cross between deja vu and a recurring nightmare. As soon as that door opened, the sounds and smells of the unit hit me. The sounds of the alarms on the monitors going off, like a symphony of bings and bongs - so many different babies doing different things at the same time, making a variety of different noises all together. The smell, like a concoction of hand sanitizer, soap and alcohol swabs - the scent is so distinctively "NICU" - it's not that it's a bad scent, it's just distinct. Then to the sink for the 2 minute hand scrub - something that I thought (I'd hoped) I'd never have to do again. Walking over to the room where Maddie would spend her day and night, I ran into one of the doctors who took care of Madison when she was sick while Dr. Kamtorn was on vacation. He immediately recognized me and asked me why I was there and followed by endearingly saying - "is that the trouble-maker in there?" - as he pointed to the car seat. Haha. The "trouble-maker" is Dr. Santo Domingo's nickname for Madison - so I told him that the trouble-maker was in fact in the car seat and was back to make more trouble. He wished us luck and we went on our way. I took Maddie over to her room - this time, she had her own room - she had to be put in isolation because she's already been home and made contact with the outside world, so she can't be around the other babies. The nurse had me put her on the radiant bed and began to undress her so that she could put the electrodes on her and hook her up to the monitors. As she laid there wearing nothing more than electrodes and a diaper, I rubbed her head and asked her if she was okay and I swear she smiled at that exact moment. I realize that her smiling is a completely involuntary reflex - that it can most likely be attributed to gas bubbles - but the timing was perfect. It was almost as if she was happy to be laying naked on that radiant bed, warm and cozy under the warming lamp - it made me wonder something that made me cry - does she think she's home? Is being in the hospital a more familiar feeling than being at home? It very well could be - and really, I guess it should be. I can't say that I'd blame her for feeling at home there. I mean, she'll be 10 weeks old tomorrow and 8 of those weeks were spent in the hospital. That would sound like home to me if I was her.

She looked pretty big on that radiant bed. Last time I saw her on a radiant bed she was somewhere around 3lbs and looked so tiny. Maddie still does look pretty tiny, especially at home compared to Melia - but here, she was one of the big babies now - and being on a radiant bed just looked strange for a baby her size. Speaking of size - it was time for her to get weighed. There is was - 2275 grams -you know what that converts to right? Yup - FIVE POUNDS!! Finally Maddie hit the 5lb mark! She's actually 5lbs 0.4oz to be exact - which is exactly 3lbs more than her birth weight. I'm so happy and proud that she seems to be on the right track with her weight. Once Melia hit 5lbs she was on the fast track to 6lbs - so I'm hoping that Maddie makes a smooth sail to the 6lb mark as well.

Next she was given her ID bracelet and I found it so strange that this time she was identified as "Madison Marcino" - rather than "Marcino Girl A" -it was so weird to see her being given her individual identity there at the hospital, where for so long she was known as part one of two. It's such a small thing, but it's something that I noticed immediately.

So once Maddie was situated it was time for her to have some blood drawn (they have to do a blood type screening every time that she needs a transfusion, regardless of the fact that all over her chart it's confirmed that her blood type is O positive) and the IV had to be started for the transfusion line. So the nurse suggested that I go get some lunch so that I wouldn't be in the room while her blood was taken and the IV line was put in. And that's just what I did. Unfortunately, I returned too soon and came back as 2 nurses were holding Madison down with another trying to insert the line. I saw this happening and turned myself right back around. I pumped and went back in a half hour - and by then, the coast was clear. Maddie was sleeping soundly, as if nothing had happened - and the nurse just looked at me and said "wow - your little girl is strong!" - haha - tell me something I don't know! :-) She said that they had trouble getting a good vein, which is always the case with Maddie, so that wasn't too surprising. But they finally got it. The line was in and now she was ready for her transfusion to begin. Unfortunately, it started a little later than anticipated. She got her first dose at 4:15pm - she'll get her second dose at 6am. Contrary to what I originally believed, they don't have to wait another 12 hours to do blood work to check her levels - they can do that a few hours later - so I'm hoping that the blood work will be done by 9 or 10am so that maybe she can be discharged around noon. Wishful thinking I know, but I'm going with it.

Leaving the hospital tonight wasn't easy - so I did it quick - like ripping off a band aid. I know that Madison doesn't really know the difference, but I do. A friend of mine had twins at the beginning of the year. For a couple weeks she had her son at home with her, but her daughter was still in the NICU. Someone suggested to her then - and she in turn suggested to me now - to kiss her son every time she wanted to kiss her daughter. So when I got home from the hospital tonight I gave Melia about 10,000,000 kisses - half for those kisses that I wanted to give to Maddie, and half for all the kisses that I missed giving her throughout the day while I was at the hospital and away from her. Poor Melia - I kissed her until she basically started to cry. Haha. Mike said she was really fussy today - crying a lot - which is very unusual for Melia (unless she's hungry that is). The same way that I like to believe that she was sabotaging her progress in the NICU in order to wait for her sister to come home with her - I'd like to believe today that she was upset because she missed her sister. She's such a good sister that lil' Lia. Okay - I have to go kiss her until she cries again - sorry - I just can't help it.

Have you ever....

....packed a bag for your child to go to the hospital for an overnight stay?

I know a couple people who have, and until now, I thought I understood - I thought I had enough sympathy and compassion in my heart to get it - at least on some small level. But no. No way. You can't understand this feeling unless you've experienced it. It's painful - I actually have pain in my heart. One more unnatural event in this long process.

Maddie had her follow up blood work yesterday and within an hour of getting home, we already had the news - she has to be readmitted for yet another blood transfusion. Her hemoglobin levels are low, and while her body is producing blood at a good rate, it's just not quite enough to keep up with her growing body. The doctors were threatening a blood transfusion on Madison since before she was discharged from the hospital but were trying hard to avoid it. They put her on vitamins to increase her iron levels and waited it out for a while to see if her blood could catch up with her body - and she came close - just not close enough. I'm not sure what's worse - taking her home 2 weeks ago and now having to bring her back - or leaving the hospital that day with just Melia and having to leave Maddie behind to have this taken care of then instead of now. I'm not SURE what's worse, but I'm pretty sure that THIS is.

She should only need to be there for about 24 hours. I'm taking her late this morning and the first dose of the transfusion should begin early this afternoon - the second dose 12 hours later in the early morning hours tomorrow. Then they'll wait 12 hours and do blood work to check her levels and ensure that all of her levels have increased and reached the appropriate level to allow her to come back home. So I'm hoping to have her back home tomorrow night. Hoping.

Going there today and knowing that after two weeks of no one poking and proding at her - two weeks of being home and getting comfy, cozy & happy in her home - now she has to go back and get poked and proded all over again - it's just sad - sad and unfair to my poor little girl who just can't seem to catch a break.

I know she's strong - she's proven that time and time again. And I know that this is a necessary evil to get her to 100%. I anticipated this, because Maddie has never seemed 100% to me. Mike makes fun of me - calling me "mrs. doom & gloom" when it comes to Maddie because I've been commenting on her not looking right for the past 2 weeks. But I just knew that she'd end up back in that NICU.

I'm going to bring Maddie to the hospital this morning and I'm going to come home tonight without her. As I sit here on my couch right now, typing this with my girls sleeping on either side of me, I just can't imagine sitting here with the boppy pillow to my right being empty. I can't imagine it and I don't want to - but I'm left without a choice.

Tonight isn't going to be easy for me or for Maddie. But really - when's the last time anything was? We'll power through because that's what we do.

So please do whatever it is that you all do - send some prayers, some hopes, some positive vibes - whatever it is that you think will help Maddie get to her 100%.

Things We've Learned

So, things have been pretty smooth over the past few days. I haven't had much to say blog-wise. We're getting into a routine over here and just waiting for the girls to hit the 7 1/2 pound mark so that we can change the routine and get back into a new one (we'll be able to let the girls sleep longer and not have to wake them every 3 hours for feedings at that point). Mike has dreams of them sleeping 8 hours through the first night. I have that dream too - though I realize how extremely unrealistic it is. I'll settle for 4 hours really. We've been taking walks in the park as often as the weather allows. We try to get out in the morning before it gets too hot out. The girls usually sleep through the whole 2 mile walk around the park, though Lia woke up for a little while yesterday and was so cute with the way she was peeking around so curiously. We took the girls to their first bbq this weekend too. We've been trying to do as much outdoors as we can since other than being in our own home, we can't bring the girls to any indoor places. Tomorrow we have to take Maddie to the hospital for her bloodwork - keeping our fingers crossed that the results are good and she doesn't have to go back into the NICU for yet another blood transfusion. Then Thursday they have another weigh-in at the pediatrician's office, so we're looking forward to that to see how the girls have progressed with their weight. It's been a week and a half....and here are some things we've come to realize...

• Never go anywhere with baby gear (ie, stroller) that you haven't tested out in advance to ensure that you know how to work it - otherwise, you'll look like a big jerk in the parking lot trying to figure it out. On this same note, never assume that you know anything for certain. I could've sworn that Marissa's double stroller was compatible with my car seats and I learned the hard way that I shouldn't make such assumptions, no matter how positive I think I am. It's not that I was unprepared, it was that I brought the wrong equipment. Either way, lesson learned.
  
• The girls will ALWAYS poop at the very second that I button the last snap of their pajamas AFTER a new diaper change.
  
• Maddie makes her funniest faces at 2am.
  
• Just when I think I've learned their sleep patterns, they switch it on me. This is just the beginning of them switching things on me I'm sure.
  
• I can go for one full week without sleep before I crash. Mike, on the other hand, can go one night. Haha. After not sleeping for a week, I crashed on Thursday night. So Mike decided to take on my early morning (5am) feeding so that I could get some rest on Friday. He ended up just staying up through the entire night - he was quite the cranky boy all day on Friday. So I sent him to bed at 7pm and took his late night feedings.
  
• Whichever baby gets stuck at the far end seat of the stroller gets the impact of all the bumps.
  
• I've officially turned into that friend that I make fun of - I never know where my cell phone is - and once I find it, it's not even charged (you can apply this to the cordless landline also).
  
• Neither one of the girls like to be second during the 8pm feeding. The other day I was doing the 8pm feeding solo and it was the first time that I felt double teamed by these little critters. It wasn't pretty.

More to learn this week....stay tuned.

PICTURES

Lia looks so happy to sleep next to her sister

Maddie just hanging out on her sister while she's trying to sleep

Miss Melia taking a nap
Melia is ready to go see Dr. Kamtorn

And Maddie is ready too

First Week at Home

The girls are doing great at home. They keep us busy, they keep us happy and they keep us sleepy. We had the girl's follow up appointment at the hospital yesterday. It's mainly an appointment with the apnea clinic, but while they're there Dr. Kamtorn does a full assessment on them after we go over the memory downloads of the monitors. Melia's monitor looks great. While she's having apnea alarms sound here and there, it turns out that they are nearly all false alarms. Madison continues to have the brady alarms and you could see the heart rate dips on the monitor screen when it was downloaded onto the computer. Again, we're chalking this up to her acid reflux. They were both weighed and I'm happy to announce that we have a 6 pounder on our hands! Yup, Melia has hit the 6 lb mark! She's gained 8oz since being discharged from the hospital which is a great gain. Maddie has gained 6oz since her discharge and now weighs 4lbs 9oz - so she's gaining about an ounce per day, which is exactly what they want to see - so while she's still behind her sister by about 1 1/2 pounds, she's gaining as she should be. To help her gain a little more Dr. Kamtorn suggested that we add a bit of powdered formula to each of Maddie's bottles, rather than just giving her 2 bottles of straight formula per day. So we started that yesterday and we're hoping that the extra calorie boost does the trick. As a part of the follow up, Dr. Kamtorn ordered that blood work be done on both girls. So immediately after our appointment we went to the lab (within the hospital) and had their blood drawn. You know, while they were in the NICU we could usually leave the room when the girls were getting blood drawn or having some procedure that was painful or made them uncomfortable - in fact, it was suggested and sometimes requested that we leave for such things. Taking the girls to the lab and watching them scream as their blood was taken (by a prick in the heel) was so hard. Mike nearly cried watching Maddie get so upset. I was on Melia duty and it was definitely hard to watch. It's just another thing that makes it so different to have the girls home.

I got the blood work results today and all of Melia's blood counts look good. Madison, on the other hand, still has a low hemoglobin level. While her body is making platelets at a good pace for her gestational age, she just doesn't seem to be making them quite fast enough. So they're going to give her another few days and have us go back to have blood work done again on Wednesday. If her levels are still low she'll need to be readmitted into the NICU for a couple of days to have another transfusion. The nurse I spoke to said that looking at her levels at first glance she's estimating a 70% chance that she won't need the transfusion. I can deal with those odds. I'll be so upset if I have to bring her back and leave her there. My poor Maddie. Even at home, she just can't catch a break.

So the girls have been home for one week already. I can't believe how quickly it's gone by. It's amazing how one week at home can nearly erase the memories of 8 weeks in the NICU. Okay, that's an exaggeration - I'll NEVER forget any of what I experienced and what the girls went through during those 8 weeks. I guess what I mean to say is simply that it feels as if the girls have been home all along. Almost immediately after they were born I couldn't imagine life without them - in a way that made me feel like I almost couldn't remember a time when they weren't here. Now, I can't imagine being home without them - it's like they've always been here. I guess that's because this is exactly where they belong.

Pictures

A cake made for us by Joan (my sister-in-law's mother-in-law). We didn't even want to eat it!

Little Ladies taking a nappy together.

Lia sleeping soundly.

Maddie, so comfy cozy.

Maddie making funny faces while she drives off after her bath.

Lia wrapped up in her towel after her bath.

I love how Lia is resting her head on Maddie's hand while they sleep. So cute.

Hanging out with my little ladies.

Maddie makes the funniest faces. :-)

Melia having some "tummy time." She likes looking at herself in the mirror.

To give some perspective on Maddie's size - this is my tiny lil' Maddie in her swing next to her cousin Paige's doll.

Maddie joined us for dinner out on the deck. This was her first time hanging out outside.

Doesn't look like this bouncer chairs are made for preemies, huh? Haha. Melia came outside for dinner too, but she doesn't even know it because she was sleeping the whole time.

Double Trouble - Maddie is on the left - Lia is on the right

A Day in the Life....

4:20am - Mommy's shift begins. I wake up and immediately pump

4:50am - finish pumping and measure out the good stuff for the morning feeding

5:00am - I transfer the girls from our bedroom into their bedroom. Then I pick a baby, any baby - a quick diaper change and begin feeding (usually the one that looks like she's about to wake up or fuss - if they're both sound asleep, always wake Melia first and deal with the wrath of Mad Maddie last)

5:20am - first baby should be done feeding - swaddle her back up and put her in the crib on her bobby - now change and feed the next baby while saying a small prayer in the hopes that the first baby will hang out quietly and not spit up on herself or lose her binky and go into a fit of rage while I'm feeding her sister

5:45am - baby number 2 should be finished eating - swaddle her back up and put her in the crib on her bobby

6am - give Maddie her Pepcid (medication for her acid reflux)

Now I'll go downstairs and straighten up, sterilize bottles, empty the dishwasher, throw in a load of laundry - and if I have time, I think I'm going to make this my blog time. There were a couple of days that I would go back to sleep at this time, but when I have to wake up again at 7:20am, I'm more tired than if I'd just stayed up. Plus, I need to get myself used to staying up because when I go back to work I won't have the luxury of going back to sleep, so why tease myself now.

7:20am - it's been 3 hours already? time to pump again. When we were in the NICU we learned just how long 2 minutes can be when we had to stand there and scrub our hands and arms for 2 full minutes before being able to go into the room to see the girls. Now, we're learning how quickly 3 hours can go by. Just when we think we have some time on our hands, it's time for the girls to eat again.

7:50am - prepare bottles for the second morning feeding

8am - begin diaper changing and feeding process - usually starting with the same baby that ate first last time, but you never know - gotta go with the baby who looks angrier at the time ;-P This feeding takes a little more effort for the girls to get through because their vitamins are added to the milk for this feeding. The vitamins look like motor oil and smell something so awful that I have nothing to compare it to. So needless to say, the girls aren't really happy about the way it makes their food taste.

8:45 - both babies should be fed and are now back in the crib on their bobby pillows - this time I don't re-swaddle them. We only swaddle them at night and in the very early morning so they learn that those are bedtime hours. 8am, it's rise and shine! Maddie seems to like this time of day and will stay awake for a while, but of course, Melia goes right back to sleep.

9am - breakfast time for mommy

9:30am - if either of the girls are still awake upstairs in the crib, I'll rescue her from confinement and bring her downstairs to hang out and play - it's been an hour and a half since eating, so maybe I'll put her in the swing - they both love to swing! We hang out and play for a little while and then it's time for Mommy to pump again.

10:20 - pump

10:50 - prepare bottles

11am - once again it's feeding time at the Marcino zoo - this feeding they get formula instead of breast milk (so what I've just pumped goes into the freezer for future use). They get two bottles of forumula per day because it gives them a few extra calories to help them gain weight. This time we add changing out of our pjs and into our outfits for the day into the mix. Mike should be up by now, but if not, I just let him sleep it out. If he is up we each take a baby and do a diaper change, wardrobe change and feeding so that we get them done at the same time

11:25-11:45am - feeding is complete. Mike should definitely be up by now, so maybe I'll take a shower - wait, Madison is crying and wants to be held. Okay, no shower for me.

1pm - lunch time for mommy and daddy

1:20pm - pump

1:50pm - prepare bottles

2pm - feeding time

3pm - okay, now I have time to take a shower.

3:20pm - Get out of the shower and get dressed. Madison is hating life again - I hold her and she calms down - I go to put her down, she screams. Okay then, blowdrying my hair is overrated anyway.

4:20pm - time to pump

4:50pm - prepare bottles

5pm - feeding time

5:30 - both girls should be done eating and one of us hangs with the girls because one or both of them are usually awake at this time - and the other starts making dinner

6pm - give Madison her second dose of Pepcid for the day

6:10pm - dinner time for mommy and daddy

6:45pm - Whoever cooked will hang out and play with the girls while the other one cleans up the dinner mess

7:20pm - time to pump

7:50pm - prepare bottles

8pm - feeding time - before feeding we change the girls into their pjs - if it's a bath night, we'll give a bath right before this feeding (can't bathe them afterwards because all the moving around will aggravate their acid reflux and make them spit up, so we bathe them beforehand and then put them in clean pjs and feed them - so that 20 minutes after their baths they've got spit up dripping from their mouths and old milk burped up on their pjs - haha - can't win either way)

9pm - transfer the girls and all their gear (monitors, boppy pillows, etc) downstairs into the family room (Mike's man cave - which has now been taken over by double trouble). We get them situated down there, where they'll hang out with daddy for the next few hours.

10pm - mommy goes to sleep - or tries to anyway. I think it was my sister-in-law, Marissa, who once told me that when you're a mom you just don't sleep the same - like you always have one eye and one ear open. Well ain't that the truth. I can hear the girls crying from my bedroom, which is 2 floors up from the family room - and of course, I can't sleep if I can hear either of them crying.

11pm - daddy prepares bottles and feeds the little ladies. This is their second formula feeding for the day. After this feeding they get swaddled up after each feeding for the rest of the night.

2am - daddy prepares bottles and feeds the girls

2:45am - daddy's shift is over. Both girls are fed, have clean diapers and swaddled. Mike brings them up to our bedroom and puts them in the bassinet. I am wide awake of course because now that the girls are in the room, I have to look at them for a few minutes. Then we go to sleep for a few hours.

4:20am - Mommy's shift begins again.

So there it is. A day in the life of the Marcino family. Truth be told, this is the IDEA for the day. Nothing goes quite as smoothly as mapped out here. Pumping on time and getting through a full 1/2 hour of pumping without interruption can be difficult at certain times of the day. Either their monitors alarm, making me get up to check on them, or they realize that they're hungry a little sooner than they're due to eat and I have to stop early and feed them. Between that, and just life in general (visitors, doctor appts, etc), there's just no way to pump every 3 hours for a 1/2 hour, but I do the best I can with that. I mentioned quick diaper changes - no such thing. These girls can poop with the best of them. Just when you think they're done, they're not - one diaper turns into 3 by the time they've finished - and 9 times out of 10, we change them before a feeding because they have "poops in the diaps" as I like to say and then half way through their bottle I can hear and smell that they've pooped in the diap again! So yeah, a quick diaper change is hardly ever possible with these two. They make it quite the project. And poor Madison suffers with her acid reflux so badly that we can't even put her down until about 45 minutes after she's eaten (which is why I can't find the time to shower and/or blowdry my hair) - by the time she's okay to lay down, it's time for me to pump and then it's time to start feeding them again. Her reflux is relieved when she lays on her tummy and is held upright - it helps her digest. Unfortunately, the only way to keep her in this position properly and without her getting upset is to hold her. This has made for some rough nights for us over the weekend. Saturday and Sunday I didn't sleep a wink. I held Madison after each feeding as I laid in the recliner in order to keep her from being in pain. Yesterday morning I was able to get their pediatrician to prescribe the Pepcid. So she's only been taking that since yesterday afternoon, and what a difference it has made! Last night she didn't need to be held after feedings - we could put her in the boppy pillow and prop her upright and she was fine. Melia has relux too, but it's not as severe as Madison's. We could always put her in the boppy after a feeding, and as long as she's propped upright and not laying flat, she's fine. So we're hoping that Maddie can get into that same routine now that she has medicine to help her out.

Other than Maddie's reflux problems, the girls are so good. They are so much fun! They don't do much but sleep, eat and poop - but they still make my day! The faces and noises that they make are so funny. They make me smile all day long. My only complaint right now is lack of sleep - which is impossible to avoid with one baby at home, let alone two. Both of their apnea monitors alarm more often than I'd like and that noise in the middle of the night is pretty frightening. On Monday morning, we called the clinical coordinator of the apnea program, Debbie, to let her know how often the alarms go off. We figured that if she could look at the memory strip from the monitor, we'd be able to tell if these alarms are false, or true events. Melia has a lot of apnea alarms and Maddie has a lot of brady alarms. Maddie's constant bradys concern me more than Melia's apnea since the apnea is something that we know Lia will grow out of. The brady thing can be an indictor of another problem, so this worries me. So, the monitor company came to the house on Monday to download the memory from the monitors. Debbie took a look at their downloads and said that the majority of Melia's apneas are false alarms - that was great news. Maddie, on the other hand, is having true events when she is having her brady episodes. I've been keeping a chart of the girls alarms, so Debbie and I went over the chart I'd been keeping on Madison and we came to the conclusion that the bradys are more than likely reflux related. But just to give me some peace of mind we're going to go to the apnea clinic on Thursday to have Dr. Kamtorn give both girls a quick assessment to ensure that everything is okay. We'll be going to the apnea clinic every 2 weeks, so we have an appointment scheduled for next week, but Debbie thought that it would be a good idea so I can relax and get some rest to come in this week and confirm that Maddie is doing well.

Once they can go through the night without having to be woken up every 3 hours to eat, it will be easier for us to sleep a little longer. We can start letting them sleep once they've reached my due date (August 20th), which is when they'll be considered full term AND they are 7 1/2 pounds - both of these requirements must be met before we can let them sleep a bit more and adjust their schedule.

But we do stay pretty much on schedule. The girls have various doctors appointments throughout the week, which of course can put a kink or two in certain parts of the schedule, but we still do pretty good I must say. Having two sets of hands definitely makes it easier and Mike and I are a really good team. When Mike goes back to work at the end of next week - and I go back to work in October - these will be the real challenges.

**pictures to follow - I gotta go feed the little ladies**

The Girls First Day/Night at Home - PICTURES

Apologies, but I uploaded the pictures in the wrong way, so you'll have to start at the bottom and work your way up to see the order of the day. Enjoy! :-)

Bath Time! Don't be alarmed by the crazy belly buttons...they have umbilical hernias (not to be confused with a groin hernia) - it's from all the straining that they do - it's very common in preemies and should go down and into a normal little button by the time they're about 1 year old.

A little after bath time sisterly love...how's this for a change - Maddie sleeping and Lia wide awake.

During the day we all just hung out. We found out that Maddie loves to swing - again, I really think that she enjoys the lights and sounds that it makes.

After about an hour I laid them flat and they sprawled out. Maddie finally looked liked she was willing to take at least a cat nap.

After their 5am feeding I propped them up on their boppy pillows so they wouldn't throw all their food up. Melia of course went right back to sleep, but Madison was wide awake with no signs of sleeping in sight. I found that she really likes the lights and sounds of the baby soother that we attached to the crib.