A month of firsts...

So it turns out that no matter what my intentions are, I just can't manage to blog nearly as often as I'd like to. Again, I am going to try my best to keep up at a better pace. People continually ask when I'm going to post an update, and I always feel bad when I don't keep up, but time is not something that I have extra of these days.


I'll try to make this short and sweet - giving as many details as possible on the past month without making this too long and unbareable to read, but I feel like the girls have done so much in the past few weeks that it might be hard to keep it short...let's see...


First Halloween...


We left off right before Halloween. The girls will kill me when they grow up for these costumes...

Maddie is the hotdog and Melia is the mustard. We wanted to coordinate the costumes. I originally wanted to do a hamburger and french fries, but that costume wasn't as readily available - so hotdog and mustard it was. It was pretty adorable if I do say so myself. The biggest problem I had on Halloween was the weather. Here I am with the girls dressed in heavy fleece costumes and it was abot 70 degrees out! Of course, we had to make our rounds, going to Aunt Marissa's salon, Nana's house, Grandpa's house and then Aunt Marissa's house to see Uncle Joey and their cousins - so the girls spent a lot of time getting in and out of the car - literally sweating. They handled it so well though. They really are very happy babies - we are very lucky! They wake up talking in the morning and I can listen to it for hours - of course, it would never quite last that long - after about 15 minutes, the talking turns to crying - but on the weekends when I get to be home when they wake up, I love waking up to the sound of them talking back and forth across the room to each other. Madison is more vocal than Melia...she seemingly has a lot more to say, which doesn't surprise me...she's always been the busy-body and I think she'll be the gossip queen. ;-) They are sleeping for about 12 hours overnight now - going down between 8-9pm and sleeping until 8-9am. We've started them on a nap schedule too with them going down immediately after lunch (around 12:30pm and they're napping for 2-3hours). They're eating 6oz every 4 hours now - I just started with the 6oz about a week ago because after certain feedings it seemed like 4 oz wasn't enough. They're not taking the full 6oz at every feeding, but they are for the most part. The dinner feeding (between 4pm-5pm) is consistently their worst feeding of the day. They'll take 3-4oz of that feeding, but they'll usually take their full bottles for the rest of the day. I've been putting 3 scoops of oatmeal in each bottle and they really seem to do well with that. It's funny, they had their check-up and immunizations on November 5th and the pediatrician talked to us about starting them on cereal in December (once they turn 6 months chronologically) and I was a total chicken and didn't tell him that I already started them on oatmeal (in their bottles only, they're not spoon feeding yet, though the doctor wants us to give it a try in early December). He was so insistent about them starting off on rice - and I just didn't want to get into it - the girls are doing so well with it that I figure there's no need for him to know. ;-) At this check-up they had their weights taken for the first time in a while. Madison was 10lbs 9oz and 22 1/2 inches long. Melia was 11lbs 12oz and 23 inches long. They are weighing and measuring great, with Maddie right at the 50th percentile and Lia just above it. It's amazing though how with only a 1/2 inch and a little over 1lb difference between them, there seems to be such a big difference when holding them. The doctor was very happy with their developmental skills, their ability to hold their heads up and their trunk & leg strength. Also at this check-up they got their second round of immunizations and their first synagis shot (the RSV vaccine). They were so tired and as they were falling asleep they got their shots - which seemed to work well for Melia since she got annoyed by the pinch but went right back to sleep, meanwhile Madison did not appreciate being woken up in such a manner and she totally freaked her freak - poor baby - I'll never get used to watching that - but all-in-all they both handled it well. We go back on Thursday for another synagis shot - unfortunately, that vaccine is only good for 30 days, so every 30 days during RSV season (November-April) they'll have to go back for a shot.

First overnighter...


Two weekends ago we had our first overnighter away from the girls, well, I guess that's not technically true since we spent the first 8 weeks of their lives away from them overnight, but you know what I mean. Mike planned a surpise party for my 30th birthday and got a hotel room for us to get a night away. Because of my crazy control freak ways he did end up telling me about the party, but didn't tell me any of the details, like where it was or who would be there. But he felt like he needed to tell me about it in advance because had he sprung an overnighter away from the girls on me, I would've panicked if I wasn't fully prepared. He arranged for my dad to stay at our house for the night so the girls would be home, which also made me much more at ease. The girls, Grandpa, Grandma Rosie, mommy and daddy all did just fine! I wasn't worried at all. I had a great night out and the girls were excellent - or at least that's what we were told.  ;-)  And for the first time that night, Melia held her bottle on her own for an entire feeding! I go away for one night and she does this! I guess that was my punishment. ;-)  She'll teach me to go away without her!

First Thanksgiving...

Last year on Thanksgiving Day I spent my morning in the hospital having the first part of the IVF procedure, the egg retrieval - and I spent my afternoon in bed. Mike was working, so he had taken the morning off to be with me at the retrieval and then went to work. Neither of our familes (with the exception of Marissa) knew that we were even thinking about concieving, so I told my family that I was having dinner with my in-laws and I told my in-laws that I was having dinner with my family - meanwhile, I was home and had a plate of turkey with all the fixins delivered to me bedside by Marissa. It's crazy to think back to one year ago and know that at that point I was just thankful that my doctors were willing to help me try to concieve given my late stage of endometriosis. I was thankful for my doctor's optimism and the mere idea of being able to get pregnant. One year later we've been through so much to get where we are now and I couldn't possibly be more thankful that my children are here and HEALTHY! Thanksgiving will always be special to me because it will forever represent my children - it is the day that they were concieved, albeit unconventionally. This year Mike had to work again, and I really wish that he was home. I picked Grandma up in the morning and brought her back to my house for a dinner with just us. Of course, we stopped by the firehouse to see daddy. And we ended our day at Grandpa and Grandma Rosie's house. It was a busy day toting around the girls on my own and I look forward to 2011 when Mike is finally not working on Thanksgiving!

First Christmas decorating day of fun...


The day after Thanksgiving we put up our Christmas tree and other decorations. We put the girls in their bouncers and I introduced them to my favorite Christmas movie - classic Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer...I really can't get enough of that movie and the poor girls are going to learn to love it, or end up hating it. Haha. After that was over they watched their first baby einstein video, Santa's music box. I have to say, baby einstein is odd - but they were into it. Between the video and the lights on the tree, they didn't know where to look first. I decorated the tree and enjoyed one of the last years that I'll have control over where the ornaments go. ;-)


Other miscellaneous firsts and soon to come firsts...


The girls are now smiling ALL THE TIME! Even Madison who used to make us work for smiles is smiling now just for fun...and now, they're laughing out loud too. They're not extremely consistent with it...something that might make them laugh now, might not make them laugh 2 minutes from now...but they are laughing on a regular basis and it's pretty much the cutest thing ever! Yes, ever!


On Thanksgiving night Madison legitimately attempted to roll over for the first time. I woke up at about 5am and went to check on them. They're still sleeping propped up on their boppy pillows because of their acid reflux, but now that seems to be very much under control so I've been saying that I want to start trying to sleep them flat. So when I went to check on them, they'd both slid down off of their boppies and were just about flat, so I took the boppies away for what would be the last few hours of their night. Melia did fine with this. Madison on the other hand took this as a green light to roll around and all swaddled up tried to roll over. About 15 minutes after laying her flat I heard the cries of discomfort and when I went into the nursery Madison has herself in a crazy position that she landed in and couldn't get herself out of after attempting to roll over. So, lesson learned there - if I start sleeping them flat, the sleep positioners will be key! Since then, for the past couple days, they've both been spending a large part of their days on their activity mat and they're both trying sooooo hard to roll over. Madison gets so frustrated when she can't do it. Melia seems bothered, but deals with it much better than Madison does. They are both really close to being able to do it - that is a first that is not too long off!

Yesterday Melia intentionally grabbed for a toy for the first time. We've been working with them on this and yesterday Melia had her eyes on this one toy that dangels from her activity mat for the longest time. I danced it around in front of her for a while and sure enough she reached for it. I left her there for a few minutes to go do some laundry (story of my life lately) and when I came back the toy was on the floor with her - she had pulled it straight down and off of the bar. They've both learned to pull their binkies out of their mouths - if only they'd learn how to put them back in! Madison now will intentionally pull out her binky and then shove her entire hand in her mouth. I'm trying not to encourage this habit, but there's no use - this little girl has a mind of her own.

Next on the agenda is the first spoon feeding as recommended by the pediatrician...we'll see how that goes!

A month of catch-up....

It's been such a long time since I've blogged. I've been meaning to do it every day for the past month, but there has been so little time for much of anything lately. I hope everyone is still following along.

I'd like to start off by thanking everyone soooo very much for all of your support for the Miracle Walk. The walk was a huge success with over 2000 walkers almost $300,000 raised! The Preemie Dream team exceeded our team goal and raised over $3,300! The outshowing of support was amazing and I can't thank everyone enough for showing us so much love and support!

When we left off, the girls had just gone to their first appointment at the high risk infant follow-up clinic. Melia was taken off of the apnea monitor that day (though we kept her on it until the company picked it up on October 13th, so really, October 12th was her last day on the monitor because I cheated and got some extra time in ;-)). When they came on October 13th, they downloaded Maddie's monitor and I got the call that Thursday, that Maddie was ready to come off the monitor too. This time I didn't cheat - I stopped using the monitor that same night and even though the company hasn't picked it up yet, I still haven't used it. I'm proud of myself for being able to let go before it was ripped out of my hands. But the fact of the matter is that I know that she doesn't need it anymore - and I'm trying to get my neurosis in check. ;-)

The day after their high risk clinic appointment, they went to the gastroenterologist and Dr. Sunaryo was very pleased with their weight gain - Maddie weighing 8lbs 7oz and Lia weighing 9lbs 11oz (that was over 3 weeks ago on September 29th, so I'm not sure what their weights are now). He confirmed that the girls do both have an allergy to milk (which they'll hopefully grow out of by the time they hit their 1st birthday) and he increased their Pepcid to .4mls two times per day. It's amazing how different they've been since getting their formulas and Pepcid amounts straightened out. The hardly spit up at all anymore and their reflux episodes are few and far between - in fact, I can't even remember that last time that Maddie had one - though Melia has had them more frequently than she used to,  but still not often enough to be a major problem or concern. Our next appointment with Dr. Sunaryo isn't until January - and at that point he said that he'll try to start weening the girls off of the Pepcid.

They really are such good babies! They've been sleeping through the night very consistently, though I'm now trying to get them to go down a little earlier, so that's creating a bit of a hiccup in the over-night sleep pattern, but nothing significant - and I guess it's my own fault for trying to put them down earlier. If I put them down anywhere between 10pm and midnight, they'll sleep through the night without so much as crying for their binkies until past 9am - sometimes, to the point where we need to wake them up and get the feedings started in order to get enough food in them for the day - but if I try to put them down earlier, even slightly earlier, like 9:30pm, they're up somewhere between 3am and 5am - even then, a couple cries for the binky and they'll go back to sleep until 7-8am, but it's not uninterrupted sleep that they'll give if they go down a little later. Last week I started putting a bit of oatmeal into their last bottle at night, hoping that having a little extra substance in their tummies will help me pull off an uninterrupted overnighter beginning at 9pm, or dare I say, even earlier, but it hasn't quite done the trick - so we're tweeking things and eventually they'll get it down. But still, I can't complain with the fact that I can get uninterrupted sleep most nights as long as I let my little party animals stay up late. ;-)

I went back to work on October 13th and now I'm adjusting to yet another new routine. Seems like everytime I get accustomed to one, something changes and I have another one to adjust to - and I'm sure that cycle will continue for quite some time. I have to say, it felt good to go back to work. I feel guilty every time I say that outloud. There's this stigma attached to a working mom - like she should really be home caring for her children and if she's not, because either she needs to work to assist in the financial support of the family or because she actually wants to work - then she should be sitting at her desk crying her eyes out. There is this pressure attached to going back to work - everyone expecting you to cry and be miserable. I didn't cry once - I still haven't, and for some reason people make me feel guilty about that. I fall into both of those categories (needing to work and wanting to work) and it makes some people look at me sideways because I'm not that mother sitting at her desk crying about not being home with her children. My first day back at work wasn't painful for me at all. My girls were home with their father and being very well taken care of. I missed them of course - and I drove a little faster than I used to driving home from work that night because I was so anxious to get home and see them - but it felt good to be back at work. It helps that I love my job and my coworkers are my friends, who I also missed and wanted to see - plus, I need that professionalism - that adult conversation/interaction every day - I need to wake up, get dressed, wear high heels and commute to work - my professional side is a huge part of who I am and even though being a mother is also a huge part of who I am, it's not the only thing that I am - and I think that there's enough of me to wear both hats and not have to sacrifice either side of me. The fact of that matter is, that regardless of whether you're a working mother or a stay-at-home mom, you're missing out on something - you're either missing out on that professional side of who you are, or you're missing out on the joy of seeing every single thing that your children do each moment of every day. I consider myself fortunate to be able to go to work everyday and know that my girls are home with their daddy just about every day of the week. With the way that Mike's schedule falls, he's home all but 2 days/week - and with my 4 day work week, it only leaves the girls being watched by someone other than us just 1 day per week - and those days they're watched by Mike's sister or Mike's mother. They are always watched by family and I know that this makes my adjustment to work significantly easier. If I had to take them to daycare everyday, I'm sure I would rather be home and I'd be willing to sacrifice that professional side of me, or I'd be crying at my desk - but the fact of the matter is that in my case, I'm extremely lucky to be able to have the best of both worlds. I also think that my experience as a NICU parent as helped this adjustment. Unlike most mothers, I had to leave my children every single day/night for 8 weeks. Finally getting them home was a huge joy for me, and at first, I didn't want them out of my sight because I had 8 weeks of constant holding and loving to catch up on. But truthfully, if I could leave them every day for the first 8 weeks of their life with total strangers taking care of them (qualified or not, they were strangers nonetheless), then I can leave them 4 days per week with their daddy, auntie or nana.

Now, for the fun stuff...here's what the girls have been up to...

Madison started smiling the same night that I sent the last blog. I guess she didn't like me blogging about Melia's smiles, so she made sure to do the same. Her smiles have gotten more consistent in recent days, though Maddie is our serious baby. She makes us work for smiles - sometimes it literally takes a song and dance, but she'll do it when we finally do something that she likes. When she wants something, she doesn't cry - she shrieks - loudly! She's very dramatic and goes from  level 1 to level 100 in 2 seconds flat. She loves to look at herself in the mirror, like the true diva that she is. When she goes down to bed at night, she doesn't make a peep - she just lays there quietly even if she's not tired and will eventually go to sleep. She seems pretty independent, rarely crying just because she wants to be held. Most times she can take or leave her binky - she's not very attached to it yet and actually prefers not to have it when she goes to sleep at night. She still doesn't care to eat most times. Sometimes she'll surprise us and take a full 4oz bottle, but for the most part she'll only take about 3oz (every 4 hrs).

and to the exact contrary, let's talk about Melia....

Melia started smiling just before I sent the last blog and she is steady smiling all day long! She's such a happy baby! She gives away smiles for free all day long, starting from the moment she wakes up in the morning. She still only cries when she needs something, mostly when she's hungry or when she wants to be held. She's turned into our needy one in that regard - she needs to be held more often recently and likes to snuggle. If she's not tired at bedtime, she demands to be rocked - though only for a few minutes - it's like she just needs a few last minute cuddles before she's ready to call it a night. She enjoys sucking on her binky and NEEDS to have it to sleep at night. She's still our hungry one - rarely leaving so much as a drop leftover in her bottle. A funny thing that she does, is when it's time to eat we always change her diaper immediately before eating - if she's crying because she's hungry - I mean, she can be screaming bloody murder - but once we put her on the changing table, she stops crying and starts to smile - she knows that if she sits through a diaper change, that the next step will be food. It never ceases to amaze us - she does this every single time. I swear Melia genuinely laughed last week, but I haven't been able to get her to do it since, so maybe it was a fluke.

They share the same dna, they shared the same living space for 29 weeks and they share the same experiences at home - yet they are just about total opposites of each other. A few similarities would be these:  one thing that they consistently still both enjoy is the swing - it's the calming force in the house, and luckily, we have two! The one swing has a mobile that turns and has a light show with stars that circle around - it's so cute how every time we put them in the swing, they look up and wait for the light show to start circling around.  Neither one of them are big fans of tummy time, but they're doing it and doing great with pushing themselves up and holding their heads up. Neither one of them have much hair yet, though Melia has a little more than Madison. They both hate being in their car seats and start freaking out the second that the car stops moving. If I stop at a red light, or God forbid, for gas - forget about it - it's scream-a-palooza in the backseat, but the second the car starts moving, they're totally quiet - it's amazing. At this point, I look for bumps to go over just to make them happy in the car - the bumpier the ride, the better. Haha. They are both so interactive and so much fun. I just can't get enough of them!

**noteable mommy/daddy exchange - the week before I went back to work I was in the kitchen cleaning up and Mike called me downstairs. He was folding laundry and asked me to show him how I like the girls laundry to be folded. I thought this was adorable. Knowing what an anal retentive control freak I am, he knew that if things weren't folded a certain way, that I'd just go behind him and re-do it - so to prevent that he wanted to do it the way that I wanted it done so that I he could take care of the laundry during his days off while he's home with the girls. So I held an inpromptu laundry folding class. Fast forward one week...

mommy - hey Mike, I was just up in the girls room and three of the onsies in the drawer are folded inside out
daddy - okay
mommy - um, why would you fold a shirt that's inside out?
daddy - what's the difference? just turn it right side out when you put it on them
mommy - there's actually a huge difference - why wouldn't you do that when you fold it
daddy - (laughing) really?? a HUGE difference
mommy - um, yes
daddy - okay
mommy - okay, i'll be doing the laundry from now on

Haha. Oh well, it's the thought that counts right? ;-)

**cute Melia story - So last night was one of the nights that I attempted to put the girl down earlier than usual. By 9:30pm they were in their cribs and by 10pm I'd say they were both legitimately sleeping. At 3am Melia starting crying. So I got up, went to the nursery, gave her the binky and walked away. I make it a point to just give her the binky and walk away. I barely make eye contact because I don't want her to start crying to be held. This happens again at about 3:10am. Then, at about 3:15am she does it again...so for the third time I walk into the room and give her the binky - and the second I got over to the crib, she gave me this huge smile. It took everything I had inside of me to not smile back, to just give her the binky and walk away! I wanted so badly to pick her up and give her hugs and kisses at that moment. It was the cutest thing!

***check out the pictures in the blog posted right before this one***

PICTURES

The girls first pumpkin picking outing...they were like little balls of mush next tothe pumpkins....

Our Miracle Walk Team - The Preemie Dream Team

Thr girls were ready to walk....

The girls playing in their play palace...

And the next two pictures are two of my favorite pictures to date....

Madison hugging Melia while they were sleeping...

Classic happy Melia...

Getting back on track....

So it's been a week since the Maddie being taken to the ER fiasco and I THINK we've managed to get her back on track. I'm still not sure exactly what her issue was, but it seems that a suppository here & there and a stage 3 nipple here & there have done the trick. Also, my mother suggested that I switch the girls to an every 4 hour feeding schedule, so I threw that into the mix as well - and all things combined seem to have created the cocktail that Maddie needed. Now that she's waiting 4 hours to be fed, she's much more hungry and takes her bottle much easier than before. I guess she really wasn't hungry every 3 hours anymore. And for those feedings where she still gives me trouble, I'll start her off with a stage 2 nipple and switch over to a stage 3 if she gets tired towards the end of the bottle. I talked to my pediatrician and the nurse coordinator at St. Barnabas about this and they both say that while it's a bit of a strange request for Madison to make, it's worth the inconvenience if it makes her willing to finish her bottles. I'm giving her suppositories every few days and that is definitely making a difference in her general disposition. Maddie would do a lot of grunting throughout the day. In the NICU they called it the "preemie grunts" - but Melia stopped doing this about a month ago and Maddie just kept on growling at us, as I called it. I guess this was a result of her trying to move her bowels, because ever since I started the suppositories she's been growling a lot less, hardly at all actually, and her herniated belly button has gone down drastically. My pediatrician still isn't a big fan of me using the suppositories, but the doctors and nurses at the hospital not only suggested it, but recommend it, if Maddie isn't pooping every day - and by pooping, they mean filling a diaper. It's hard to figure out what the right thing is to do when you have so many doctors with different ways of doing things in the mix. So I'm taking all of the suggestions and figuring out what's best by trial and error. What we're doing now is working, so I'm sticking to it until it doesn't work anymore.

The girls had their first high risk infant follow up appointment at St. Barnabas today. This follow up is designed for babies that are expected to have delayed milestones. Madison was put into this high risk category due to her birth weight, and while Melia missed the cut-off to be officially classified as high risk, she's been put into this category anyway based on the fact that she's a twin. The clinic doesn't like to break up twins, so they'll follow them both for the next 2 years to make sure that they are meeting milestones at an appropriate stage in regard to their adjusted age. So today was their first appointment and we weren't really sure what to expect. First they weighed and measured them (just like they used to do at the apnea clinic - and I'll get to the apnea monitors in a minute) - Madison is weighing in at 8lbs 5oz and 21 3/4inches - Melia is weighing in at 9lbs 10oz and 22 inches. I'm surprised that Melia isn't over 10lbs, but it's okay because it's helping Madison catch up! Maddie is now only 1lb 5oz and 1/4 inch behind Melia! For the first time on Saturday Mike was taking pictures and he said that he really felt like they looked similar in size as they were side by side. So our little Maddie is moving on up! After being weighed and measured, Dr. Kamtorn gave both girls a quick exam and was very happy with how big and healthy they are. Then we met the occupational therapist, Kim. She put each of the girls on a mat on the floor and moved their arms, legs and heads to test their muscle strength. She put the girl on their tummies to see how well they hold up and control their heads. She laid them on their backs and had them track audio and visual targets with their eyes. Kim was very happy with where both girls are and said that they are exactly where they are supposed to be for their adjusted developmental age. She gave us some homework - over the next few months we have to work with the girls doing certain things to help the girls along developmentally and keep things moving in the right direction. Our next appointment isn't until January, so hopefully they'll meet all of the requirements for their adjusted age at that point and do as well as they did today.

While we were there, we had their apnea monitors downloaded and reviewed. Melia's download was free of any true events - so we decided that it's a good time to take her off of the monitor - so the monitor company should be contacting me in the next day or so to come pick up her monitor. This makes me nervous, I'm not going to lie. But she hasn't had an event in over 3 weeks, so to keep her on it wouldn't make much sense. I have to let go of the monitors eventually, so, I suppose there's no time like the present. Don't get me wrong though, even though she's technically supposed to be off of the monitor as of today, I will use it for the next couple of nights until they come pick it up. Madison, on the other hand, in true Maddie fashion continues to keep things interesting. According to the download, she didn't have a true event in 2 weeks - until THIS MORNING! This morning, at 6:21am, sure enough she had a true apnea episode. What are the odds? Maybe Maddie realized that mommy wouldn't be able to handle both girls coming off of the monitors at the same time. So she gave me 2 more weeks of that security blanket with her, so I can adjust to Melia being monitor free. Madison will have her monitor downloaded again on October 13th - and provided that she doesn't have any events between now and then, she'll be taken off of the monitor at that point.

Madison says, "Mommy, no pictures please!" and Melia, as usual will try to eat anything near her mouth!

**noteable milestones - Melia has landed on her first developmental milestone! She has developed her social smile! She's not doing it all the time, but when she does, her smile lights up the room! I had noticed her smiling here and there lately, but wasn't quite sure if I could classify it as her social smile, but Dr. Kamtorn noticed it while she was doing her exam on Melia today and after a few cute smiles from Melia, Dr. Kamtorn confirmed that these smiles were the real deal. And, the girls are officially sleeping through the night - always going a nice 6-7 hour stretch, so as long as we put them down after a late night feeding (10-11pm), they'll sleep until about 7am, sometimes even later. At this point, they rarely stir in the middle of the night, so I don't even have to get up and give them their binkies. We're talking 6-7 hours of solid, uninterrupted sleep. It's a beautiful thing!

**noteable poop story - So Mike took Melia upstairs for a diaper change before her afternoon feeding and after he was up there for a little over 5 minutes, he yells down the stairs and asks me where the changing pad covers are - so I know that something fun must've happened. So I went upstairs to get the scoop. Sure enough, she had pooped and made a sloppy mess of herself - but that wasn't the issue. Mid-diaper change she started to spit up and choke a little bit, so as Mike moved his attention to her upper body to help her work through that and then clean up that aftermath, she started to pee - and of course, this was minus a diaper under her butt since daddy didn't have time to put one under her as she was choking and needed his help elsewhere. So now she's pooped, puked and peed all over the changing pad and all over herself - the changing pad cover needed to be changed, and so did her outfit - and daddy's hands needed a good, long scrubbing. ;-)

Fun times at the beach and not so fun times at the hospital....

When we left off, the girls were venturing off into the nursery for their first night of sleeping in their cribs - and it went very well! The girls slept through the night with a nice 6 hour stretch! They stirred a couple times, wanting their binkies, so I'd get up and put the binky back in their mouths, and they'd go right back to sleep. I can't say that I slept soundly, but I really don't expect to sleep soundly again until, well, probably never. So it's been a full week now and we're in the routine with sleeping in the nursery. Most nights the girls are sleeping for 6-7 hour stretches. Both Madison and Melia have played a trick here and there, on separate nights of course, demanding food at 3 or 4am - BUT, when they do that, we'll feed them as requested and they'll go right back to sleep for another 5 or 6 hours. There have actually been a couple mornings where I'm awake before the girls!

We still have the girls on the apnea monitors, though truthfully, they don't really need them anymore. Their monitors were downloaded last Tuesday and by Thursday I got the call from the apnea clinic letting us know that the girls could come off the monitors if we (being mommy and daddy) were ready for such a transition. According to the download, the girls have had very few true events in recent weeks and since they are now 4 weeks past their due date, it's considered safe to take them off the monitors. But, enter neurotic mommy and I requested that they stay on them just a bit longer. At the time that I had this conversation, the girls had only been in the nursery for 2 nights and I really needed more time with my apnea monitor security blanket.  So we decided to keep the girls on the monitors (during the night only) for another 2 weeks. The alarms rarely go off - and when they do, it's much more of a pain to jump up and go to the next room rather than just lift my head and check on them right next to me, but having the security of knowing that the alarm will notify me if something is wrong has really helped me with the nursery transition and  it's worth getting up for. I'd rather have them there, than not - I'm just not really to let go of that security blanket yet.

I've been having a serious case of cabin fever lately. Being out of work and literally just staying home with the girls has had me in a place reminiscent of being on bedrest - feeling bored and unable to do the things that I'd like to do. The only things we're really allowed to do with the girls, are take them to outdoor places, but the weather has been so screwy around here that even a trip to the park has been just about impossible. On Friday I insisted that we get out of the house. I really wanted to take the girls outside for some fresh air, since soon enough, we won't even be able to do that. So we decided to take a trip to Point Pleasant and introduce the girls to the beach and boardwalk - it was the perfect day for it. It's amazing how people flock to a couple walking around with twins. I hate this attention. Mike, on the other hand, loves this attention. A wedding party there actually wanted to get their pictures taken with the girls. How random is that? People just love twins! So many people would ask how old they were and when I would say "15 weeks" or "just about 4 months" their reactions were all the same - "oh my God, they're soooo tiny!" - I found myself feeling the need to explain. Finally I decided to just use their adjusted age of 5 weeks, so that the size of my children would make sense to other people and I wouldn't need to explain their story. 

We had lunch outside at the Tiki Bar. As our french fries got cold because the girls decided that they wanted to eat a half hour early - as we sat there feeding them instead of feeding ourselves, we laughed at how much things have changed. This time last year, a trip to the Tiki Bar would've been a completely different experience! After lunch we walked the boardwalk and  took a quick stroll on the beach just to take some pictures. The sun, while it was only about 70 degrees and wasn't very hot, seemed to be bothering the girls eyes - and we didn't want to be out in the sun too long anyway. Mike won some stuffed animals for the girls - a little stuffed dinosaur for Melia and a BIG stuffed pug for Maddie. The pug was fitting for Maddie since her acid reflux always has her sounding congested, and we always say that she breathes like a pug. ;-) Poor little Madster!

And speaking of - the poor little Madster has been keeping things interesting around here. She started giving me problems taking her formula on Sunday. All day long she wouldn't take more than 1 or 2 ounces at a time. She has always been our fussy eater, but on Sunday she took it to a whole new level. I really couldn't figure out what the issue was. As far as I was concerned, she wasn't constipated because she had just pooped that morning, so being "backed up" shouldn't have been an issue that would effect her eating. I started thinking that maybe she needed to be moved to the next stage nipple on her bottle, but then I figured that couldn't be the case because she just went on stage 2 nipples a couple weeks ago and a stage 3 nipple is made for 6+ months - and developmentally, Maddie is still only a 5 week old, so she really shouldn't even be on the stage 2 nipples that are made for 3 month olds. So I talked myself out of the idea that she needed a different nipple and figured maybe she was just having a bad day. But the next morning Mike became concerned about her congestion. I never really get too concerned about her congestion, because like I said before, we never really believe it to be true congestion and we always just chalk it up to her acid reflux. But Mike made the point that her last feeding was at 2am (he stayed up late and fed her as late as possible in an effort to get her hungry before feeding in the hopes that she'd take a full bottle) - and now it was 10am. So 7 hours had passed and she really shouldn't have been having reflux 7 hours after her last feeding. Good point. So, I called the pediatrician and made an appointment for her. I was reluctant to make the appointment because really, she looked fine. But Maddie having feeding issues can lead to weight loss, which would be a significant problem for her. So between that and the fact that at this point I wasn't sure if I could blame her congestion on acid reflux, I figured we were better safe than sorry. When Dr. Luke (the pediatrician) came into the exam room, I told him that we'd probably jumped the gun, but I just wanted her looked at. I was not at all expecting what happened next. He apparently didn't think we'd jumped the gun and felt that her breathing was rapid and labored. That combined with her feeding issues and the fact that he witnessed her spit up a few times while in the office, made him extremely concerned. He feared that she had come down with RSV and sent us straight to the emergency room. I couldn't believe this. I had just spent my morning on the phone with my insurance company regarding the girls' RSV vaccination (they need a vaccine every month from November through April), and here she may already have it. RSV (Respiratory syncytial virus) is a virus that causes infection in the lungs and breathing passages.  In adults, it may only produce symptoms of a common cold, such as a stuffy or runny nose, sore throat, mild headache, cough, fever, and a general feeling of being ill. But in premature babies, who have a lower immune system and premature lungs, RSV infections can lead to other more serious illnesses and even death. Often times, a premature baby with RSV ends up admitted into the hospital and placed back on CPAP or even a ventilator.  So when Dr. Luke expressed concern about a possible RSV infection, my heart dropped, my eyes filled with tears and I was in a complete panic. We went to the ER and after a few hours we found out that her chest xray was clear and her RSV test was negative - PHEW!! So then, what was the issue? At the time that I write this post, 2 days later, still no one knows. The ER doctors weren't concerned with her breathing patterns. They put her on the monitor and she was at 100% oxygen with room air. They believe that her rapid breathing is a result of her prematurity. As the one ER doctor said, if a full term newborn was breathing like that, they'd be concerned - but for a premature baby to breathe like that, it's not very alarming. I wish Dr. Luke had that same reaction! While at the ER they gave her pedialyte and she took it do in record speed. And they gave her a suppository and forced her to poop. Some of the doctors believe that maybe she was "backed up" and wasn't eating due to that. I didn't think this was an issue since she'd pooped Sunday morning, just before the feeding issues began - but they said that unless she's filling a diaper at least once a day, chances are there is still more in there - and due to her prematurity, her intenstines don't move her bowels as well as a full term baby - so constipation for her is a different issue than constipation in a full term baby. We left the ER without any real answers - maybe it's a cold, maybe she's constipated, maybe she's just a fussy eater and is looking for a new type of formula or bottle. So I spent the whole day yesterday experimenting with different things to try to figure out where this new feeding issue is coming from. When we give her pedialyte, she takes it, so I began to wonder if she was getting sick of the nasty tasty of her prescription formula - so I started mixing her prescription formula with her old formula to give it a taste boost - didn't work. I tried to make her poop again - she pooped, but it didn't make her any more likely to eat. The doctor had me giver her Mylanta one hour before eating - didn't work. I tried a totally new type of bottle - didn't work. Finally I went back to the thing that I contemplated trying in the very beginning - I changed her to a stage 3 nipple and VOILA! She took 4oz in no time. Since then I've been switching back and forth between the stage 2 and stage 3 nipples - apparently sometimes she wants to move quickly and other times she wants to take her time. This kid is HIGH MAINTENANCE! So, I'm not really sure what did the trick - the nipple switch seemed to be the last factor when we noticed a difference, but I guess it couldn't been a combination of all of my experiments. Who knows. For now, things are getting back on track. Maddie has been taking all of her formula for the past 5 feedings. Hopefully, she'll stay on track. Today, Melia has been coughing - so I'm pretty sure that even if Maddie is out of the woods, mommy isn't.


The whole Maddie going to the ER thing has been eye-opening.  I make fun of myself for being this neurotic, overbearing, crazy mom that I never thought I'd be. But truthfully, I need to be this way for the safety of my children. People don't get it. And really, unless you too are the mother of a premature baby, I don't think people can or will get it. While the girls are full term and almost 6 weeks past their due date now - and they look like "normal" newborn babies - we have to remember that the mere fact that they were born premature makes them different. Their lungs, intestines and other major organs are still premature. Their immune systems are still very compromised and we have to safe-guard them as much as we can. They require special care. So people can think that I'm neurotic or overbearing, or even crazy - but the fact of the matter is that I'm protecting my children they way that they need to be protected. For those people who don't understand that and still think I'm just over-reacting, I really don't care - you can call me crazy - and I'll call you, ignorant.

Please join and support us...

Many of you have already received this information, but for those of you that follow along and I don't even know it - I wanted to make sure I got this information to as many people as would be willing to read it. Please support this cause in honor of our super baby angels.

On Sunday, October 4th, we will be walking in the 9th annual Miracle Walk at Verona Park in Verona, NJ, to benefit the NICU at Saint Barnabas Medical Center. As you all know, our daughters, Madison and Melia, were born on June 5, 2009 - 11 weeks premature - weighing only 2lbs and 2lbs 12oz respectively. For 8 weeks, Maddie and Lia called the NICU at Saint Barnabas home, as did we. The care that they received was bar none. The doctors and nurses there are the reason that our little girls, our angels, our miracles, are alive and thriving today. We would like to ask you to participate and walk with us to celebrate all the NICU Miracle Babies that are with us, and that are on the way. I am asking that you join us, and the rest of our team, in our efforts. We have joined forces with our good friends, Brian and Angelica Gonor, who are also the parents of their own miracles - their two children were also born premature and were saved by the amazing team of doctors and nurses at the Saint Barnabas NICU.


The money raised is used to buy essential medical supplies and equipment needed to help save the lives of the over 1,200 infants that begin their lives in the NICU at Saint Barnabas Medical Center each year - the same type of supplies and equipment that helped save the lives of Madison and Melia. Premature babies cared for at the Saint Barnabas NICU have a very high survival rate and a very low disability rate compared to the national average. Although technology continues to improve in Neonatology, not every premature baby experiences such an optimal outcome. Our family and hundreds of other families realize that a need exists to raise money for the NICU to help advance medical technology and create the best possible medical and healing environment for babies and their parents. This NICU saved the lives of my children and I am forever indebted to them. You never truly know how important a cause is until it hits you close to your heart and home. This cause is not close to my heart, it is IN my heart. This is so very important to me and my family. I will be forever grateful to those of you who can particpate in the walk with us to help raise the money that is so important to saving the lives of so many premature babies.

This NICU and it's staff helped us go from this...

To this....

Enough said! Please support this cause for all the future babies that deserve the same exceptional care that Madison and Melia received!

Please register to walk with us on October 4th. The first step is to go to the Miracle Walk Website and register online to participate. To join my team directly, please click on my team page link below. If you are unable to walk, we understand - but please consider sponsoring us and making a donation to help us reach our fundraising goal (the hospital is a nonprofit organization and all donations are tax deductible).


To access the Miracle Walk website to obtain more information please click on the link below.


http://www.miraclewalk.com/


To access our team page, to join our team, register or sponsor us with a donation, please click on the link below. Our team name is Preemie Dream Team.


http://www.miraclewalk.com/site/TR/Events/Generalteam_id=6350&pg=team&fr_id=1060


If you plan to walk with us - which we'd LOVE for you to do, you'll need to register. To do this, clink on the "join team" link to the left of the page above where it lists our team members. Register yourself as an individual walker. Registration is free, but the site is designed for every walker to raise funds, so it automatically has a $150 goal listed as an individual fundraising goal. You DO NOT have to donate $150. You can donate any amount that you would like in the "gift amount" tab. You must leave the $150 goal in the "individual fundraising goal" tab in order for your registration to go through, but again, you are not responsible to make a $150 donation - however, if you would like to ask family, friends, co-workers and neighbors of your own to sponsor you as a member of our team to reach that goal, then you are more than welcome to do so!


Please click the link below for walk day specifics.


http://www.miraclewalk.com/site/PageServer?pagename=EventInfo#2

If you are unable to walk with us, but would like to make a donation, please click on the "make a gift" link that you will find underneath the Preemie Dream Team picture on the right side of the webpage.


We hope to see you there on October 4th! Thank you so much!


Love,


Mike, Amanda, Madison and Melia Marcino

A pretty quiet week...

The girls have settled into their formulas (which by the way, my insurance pays for 100% of Melia's formula!! I thought they'd pay the same 90% that they are paying for Madison's, but apparently there is more coverage for a specialty, non-prescription formula - go figure). Madison is taking between 90 and 110ccs, depending on her mood and Melia is taking between 100 and 120ccs, depending on her mood - but she usually takes a whole 120, which is 4oz - I think we'll be moving to bigger bottles with her very shortly. They're both still having reflux episodes here and there. Melia seems to be having more episodes, which is out of the ordinary.  I'm thinking that their Pepcid dosage might need an increase since they've each gained a couple pounds since their last increase. Our next appointment with the specialist is at the end of the month. I'll call him if I need to before that, otherwise, I'll talk to him about it then. I'll see how things go over the next few days.

Now that the formula issue seems to be settled for the time being, of course another issue must arise - constipation. Both girls have been having poop issues. Melia has been having problems for a while now, but Madison always did pretty well in this area - until late last week. Now they're both pooping once every few days - and at times, it gets ugly. I actually had to stimulate her yesterday to get her to go and when she did it hard and she had so much trouble getting it out. So today I gave them both a bit of prune juice in their afternoon bottle. It seems to have worked well for Madison. About 3 hours later she was, um, in a word, explosive! ;-) I haven't seen a change in Melia yet, but we'll see what happens.

Mike has been working more lately, picking up landscaping shifts with a guy from firehouse. So with him gone more and more, I've been flying solo a lot during the days. And naturally, to coincide with my flying solo - the girls have learned to tell time. Ah yes, they are little time-telling geniuses! Every 3 hours, they begin to stir, knowing that feeding time at the Marcino zoo is upon them. With that, and the fact that I only have 2 hands, I've been relying on bottle proppers to help me out. These are like my new best friends these little wonderous creations. A friend of mine who also has twins suggested them to me - she called them a "lifesaver" - so I figured from one twin mom to another, it was worth the $14.95. All I can say is thank you Deana!! When the girls are double teaming me, screaming like they weren't fed 3 hours prior and may never get fed again - I just sit them each on either side of me on their boppies and set them up with these bottle proppers. I watch them to make sure that they don't choke up - and I pick them up for a quick burp as needed - but then I put them right back down and watch the forumla disappear right before my very eyes. Deana, you are correct, these things are lifesavers! I recommend them to twin moms everywhere! I don't use them all the time, because I enjoy the bonding that goes along with holding them close while feeding them - but when the situation calls for it, these things are a dream come true for my ear drums!

In other very exciting news, the girls have slept through the night 3 times in the past week! Not three consecutive nights, but three nights nonetheless. We've been feeding them at 11pm and giving them a few extra ccs to try to fill their tummies to hold them over through the night - sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't - but it's a start. On three nights we've had 6-7 hour stretches of sleep overnight! WOOHOO!! I forgot what it was like to sleep at night! It's quite refreshing!

Don't get me wrong, there is still some stirring here and there requiring me to reach over into the bassinet and put the binkies in the their mouths, but nothing that requires me to actually get up. They probably won't be on the apnea monitors much longer. The monitor company came to the house yesterday to download the memory off the monitors and they'll send that info to the apnea clinic - once the clinic gets that info I'm guessing I'll get the call that they can come off the monitors because they really haven't had many episodes lately - and the ones that they have had, I don't believe they were true events. So while I still have the security blanket of the apnea monitors, we're going to finally make the transition to the nursery. So tonight is that night. Wish us luck! By the way, Melia says Hi! ;-)

I'll knock on wood before I start this update....

Okay, now I'm ready. It looks like we've found each of the girls magic formulas. Maddie has been doing excellent on the prescription formula for a couple weeks now and Melia's tummy seems to like the Alimentum - and in keeping with the good news, even though Alimentum isn't a prescription formula, it's considered a speciality formula and is covered by my insurance! This is great news considering that it costs $27/can! So now I can get it delivered to my doorstep for about $15 for a case of 6 cans! Melia is demanding more and more formula on a regular basis now. She's up to 100ccs, which is just under 4oz and there are certain feedings that's not satisfying her, so we have to giver her an extra 20-30ccs to calm her down. Maddie is up to 90ccs, not that she's asking for that much - but to keep her weight moving in the right direction, we're forcing it on her. We increase her feedings by 10ccs at the beginning of every week and it seems to be keeping things on track.


We had our first big outing without the girls over the long weekend. Most people leave their kids for maybe 2-3 hours for the first time - maybe hit dinner and a movie - not us, we go for the gusto with a 12 hour stretch and require babysitters in shifts! We always get season tickets to the Rutgers football games and Labor Day was game 1. It was a 4pm kickoff, but we made it an all day event and began our tailgate at 9am - this means we had to leave the house by 8am. So Mike's mom was on the first shift and arrived at our house at 7:30am - then my dad and Rosie came at noon to relieve Mary Lou and they had the girls until we got home at about 8pm. It was a long day for me without the girls. I thought of them often, but resisted the urge to constantly call the house to check in. I knew they were in good hands and figured I'd get a call if something was wrong. So I checked in via text message once per shift - and of course, everything was just fine. I had a great time at the tailgate. It was a day of much needed adult time - but I missed them so much!


While we were out we got a chance to hang out with a lot of our friends - some of which we see on a regular basis and others that we haven't seen since before the girls were born. One question always comes up - "do you feel different?" - Mike always says that having children was the one thing that made him feel "different" - getting engaged didn't make him feel different, getting married didn't make him feel different, buying a house didn't make him feel different - but having kids is that one landmark of his adult life that makes him feel different. I'd have to say that I agree. Having children has made everything come full circle. Having children changes everything and of course, it's a different experience - June 5, 2009 definitely marks the day that things changed . Do I feel different? Yes, I guess I do. I'm still the same person, but my children have made me an enhanced version of myself. My children make me better.

Okay, I may have gone too far....

We had a bbq to go to today and I was so excited about a new dress that the girls received as a gift - I wanted them - no, in my mind, I NEEDED them to wear this dress today. It's super cute and very summery. Today would be the last possible day for them to wear such a dress - it was a gorgeous day - perfect weather for this adorable litte dress - so they just had to wear these dresses today or they'd probably never wear them. So I put them on this afternoon as I'm getting the girls ready to go and I realize that the sleeves (which are spaghetti strap) are too long, so it makes the dress too big. I put an undershirt underneath it, but it took away from the look of the dress. I stood over Melia on the changing table and thought 'if only these sleeves were shorter it would fit perfectly' - then I thought, 'wait, I can totally make them shorter' - and yes, I did, I busted out my sewing kit (which had dust on it and I'm surprised I even knew where it was) and I stood there, running late as it was, sewing four little spaghetti straps to a lower part of the back of the dress to make the sleeves shorter. It worked like a charm, but here's the kicker...we get to the bbq at just after 3pm and at about 3:15pm, the sun went in and was never to be seen or heard from for the rest of the afternoon. It got chilly by 3:30pm and by 3:45pm the girls had their blankets drapped over them and tucked in all around them. About 3 people actually saw the girls in their cute little freshly strap-shortened dresses - and the rest of the time they were completely covered. Haha. It figures!

Oh, and while I was so consumed in sewing these straps, I forgot about the new nipples that I was sterilizing in boiling water downstairs. I had just bought these nipples in the morning - and now, they were half melted and burnt because I boiled them so long that the water evaporated from the pot they were boiling in. I knew I should've just stuck them in the microwave sterilizer! Haha. What a mess! All for my obsession with dressing the girls in this particular dress that no one saw anyway! So, this blog will make everyone see the dress! ;-)

Oh well! They looked adorable while it lasted - and it was worth all the effort! :-)

 **top left picture is Maddie - middle right picture is Melia**
**bottom center - Maddie is on the left and Melia is on the right**
***check out more pictures in the post just before this one***