Well, February was a short month, so my lack of blogging should be forgiven...right? Right.
It was a stressful month. The girls both got sick for the first time - and I'm pretty sure it hurt me, emotionally and physically, way more than it did them. Early in the month Melia started with a pretty bad cough...after a couple of sleepless nights and the cough sounding worse by the day, Mike took her to the doctor (it was the day after Superbowl Sunday, so I had to go to work, so daddy flew solo on this doctor appointment). Madison was only coughing here and there, and it didn't sound nearly as bad as Melia's, but Mike had the doctor check Maddie too, just for good measure. The doctor was concerned about Lia's weezing and prescribed nebulizer treatments 4 times a day for the next week or so. Maddie wasn't weezing, so he didn't see the need for the nebulizer with her, but he prescribed enough refills for Lia so we could use it on Maddie too if her cough started to sound more like Lia's. At first Lia did really well with the treatments - she would just lay there and let us hold that little mask over her tiny little mouth and nose - it was as if she realized that it was medication vaporizing out of the mask and she knew it was helping her. Unfortunately, it took about 10 minutes for the full treatment to vaporize, and with that said, by day 3 - after doing this 4 times a day - she wasn't as cooperative all the time anymore - it would depend on how tired she was. Poor thing...she looked so defeated sometimes, just laying there, holding the mask to her own face.
By Valentine's Day she seemed a little better in regard to her cough...but a couple of days prior, it seemed that Maddie caught the stomach virus that just about everyone I know, and their kids, have had over the past 4-6 weeks. I took Maddie to the doctor on Friday after she had been vomitting, let me rephrase, projectile vomitting and/or pooping, everything she had eatten for about a 36 hour period. I couldn't get her to keep anything down and I couldn't get her to want anything to do with Pedialyte, so I was really worried about her getting dehydrated. As soon as the doctor walked in the room he said "you made it soooo close to getting through cold/flu season without them getting sick!" - and that I did...almost made it through, but not quite. Sure enough, the doctor weighed her and she had lost a full pound from her doctor visit 4 days prior on Monday. Luckily, she peed in her diaper while the doctor was in the room, otherwise, I think she would've gotten herself a one way ticket to the hospital. Dr. Luke gave me a few tricks to dilute her formula with water and to halfway freeze the Pedialyte until it was like a slushy and spoon feed it to her - if these tricks didn't work and she still couldn't keep anything down within 24 hours, she was going to be sent to the hospital for IV fluids. Now, we all know that Madster enjoys hospital visits, so I was a little worried. But luckily, she came around...she started holding her food down and as it turns out that she thoroughly enjoys Pedialyte slushies, but ONLY in grape flavor! :-)
I don’t like the idea of being that mother, or that parent for that matter, who can’t leave my children. The fact of the matter is that I left my children every night for 8 weeks while they were in the NICU. Leaving them in the hospital on June 9th when I was inevitably kicked out of the hospital 5 days post delivery, was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. If I could leave them that day, I could leave them now. Right? Right! I understood the value of having this time away with Mike. And anytime anyone said things like “I can’t believe you’re leaving your babies!!” with the look of absolute horror and disgust on their face – I wanted to back slap them. I mean, give me a break – we’re not leaving them in a kennel like dogs while we vacation – they’re having quality time with their grandfather, who is quite honestly, the person I trust most in this entire world. So, to all the people who just can’t believe that I’d go on vacation – zip it! They’re at an age where they don’t get the concept of missing us, so it’s not stressful for them to be without us for a few days. Similar to them being sick, this is something that would bother me way more than it would bother them. Now was the time to do it – fully realizing going into it that this would be our last vacation as a two-some – with all other vacations from here on in revolving around doing things that the girls will enjoy.
Though again, I do admit that I had anxiety about going. The idea of being without them for 4 nights was strange and I knew I’d miss them terribly. I’m not anxiety prone. Never have been. I roll with the punches, take things as they come and very little genuinely bothers me. Until now. I started thinking about things that I’d never thought of before…like what if the plane crashes and now the girls are left without their mom and dad. I've been in the air more times than I can count – and the idea of the plane going down never bothered me. But now, I am not my primary concern. It took multiple friends to talk me off of the ledge regarding this issue on multiple occasions before the trip.
So on Thursday, when the biggest snow storm of the year – maybe of the past few years actually – hit the northeast, just one day before we were due to fly back home - I just looked at Mike and said, “Yup – this is exactly why being away from the girls gives me anxiety. What if we get stuck here?!?!” – and sure enough our flight was cancelled and the airline couldn’t get us on a flight home until Wednesday. Yes, Wednesday. Due to leave on Friday after a 4 night stay and suddenly that 4 night stay turned into a 9 night stay – our vacation doubled – and this was not okay with either one of us. I checked with multiple airlines - nothing was available – getting into the northeast just wasn’t happening – though they all told me to call back in a day or two to see if anything opened up or if additional flights were added on. Trapped in paradise – sounds ridiculous I suppose – to anyone without children that is. On Sunday I went on another hunt for a flight out of there and finally found one for the following day – today, Monday, March 1st – 3 days longer than we intended to be away, but 2 days prior to when we originally thought we’d be stuck until - and now, I’m now blogging from the air – in route to Atlanta – one step closer to being home. Finally!!
I had packed a couple of photo albums that I made with some of my favorite pictures of the girls. We looked at them everyday, but after we got trapped there, all we did was look at them. The entire vacation, all we did was talk about them – we talked about the past and all the events that led up to us requiring time away – we talked about the present, talking about some of the cute things they’ve been doing recently and wondering what they’re doing at that very moment, looking at the time and taking a guess on such – we talked about the future – future vacations with them, what we think they’ll be like as they grow up, where they’ll go to school, all that fun stuff.
I miss hearing them talk in the morning. I miss hearing their laughs. I miss the way they search the room for me and the way that they follow me with their eyes from the moment I come home from work. I miss their smiles. I miss the way they look at me with those huge blue eyes. I miss their crazy hair, and especially how crazy it gets after they get a bath. I miss their little clothes and the way they look in their footsie jammers. I miss the way that they hold hands when we lay or sit them next to each other. I miss watching them look around and their reactions to new things.
I miss the way that Melia kicks her feet in the bathtub. I miss the look on Madison’s face when I pour bathwater over her head – she’s not a fan of it and looks tortured and surprised every single time.
I miss the way that Maddie rubs her eyes when she’s tired. I miss watching her sleep on her side, her new favorite position. Even when she's playing, she'll take a mid-morning nap on her side...
I miss Melia’s rosie cheeks.
I miss it all.
As much as I try not to, I take these things for granted. We all do. These are the little things in life that ordinarily, we just do – we just notice without even really realizing that we’re noticing - and we don’t think about it further than the moment itself.
It didn’t take getting trapped on an island and away from them for longer than anticipated for me to realize that I loved all these things about my daughters – I knew all that – but it does serve as fantastic blog inspiration. They are my whole life. I didn’t need a reminder of that, but being uncontrollably away from them, I got that reminder whether I liked it or not.
For those of you who have children, read them an extra story tonight. Even if your favorite tv show is coming on or you need to clean up the kitchen and get ready for tomorrow – that’s why we have TIVO – and dishwashers. Enjoy the little moments. They’re the ones you’ll miss the most when you don’t get to have them.
Long story short – I had a great time on my much needed vacation – and had it lasted the 4 nights it was supposed to, it would’ve been perfect. The unexpected extra 3 nights away, I could’ve done without. And with that said, I’m never going on vacation with the girls again. But really, I knew that going in. :-)Aaaaaaand, just as she came around and Melia's cough started to sound better...Melia started the vomitting and the pooping. Her bout of the stomach virus wasn't nearly as bad, lasting only maybe 24 hours while Maddie's lasted about 72....and then Valentine's day came around...Mike had work and there I was, home alone with two sick babies, one slightly more sick than the other, and of course, from all my close contact and snuggling with my sick little ones, I also caught the stomach bug and spent my day doing my best to take care of them, and myself. It wasn't pleasant. But my bug only lasted about as long as Lia's did - so I was lucky in that regard. So Valentine's Day was a lazy day for me and the girls. I did dress them in their little Valentine's Day outfits and had a quick photo shoot though - I mean, that had to be done! ;-)
