There are certain days in life that you'll always remember. The type of day that most other people wouldn't remember, or even realize that it holds significance for you. The type of day that you will always remember where you were when you got certains news, what song was on the radio, the smell that was in the air and not only the date, but the day of the week. For me, Monday, April 27, 2009, is one of those days.
It started off like every other Monday, me being miserable,swollen, exhausted, uncomfortble, not wanting to go to work, not feeling well in any regard, but powering through. The week prior I had a doctor's appointment and my gynocologist felt like I was dilating. I spent about 4 hours at doctor's appointments between her and the high risk doctor; with the high risk doctor, Dr. Smith, ultimately declaring that everything was fine and sending me home. From that point I knew that things were going to take a turn. I kind of already knew before that point too, just intuition I guess. I had already started getting my caseload in order for my coworkers who would have to pick up my slack. By April 27th, I felt like things at work were pretty much taken care of. I left work that day not feeling too well, but definitely not thinking that I wouldn't be returning the next day. April 27th is the day that I officially went into preterm labor. The day that I began my first stent at the hospital. The day that I was put on total bedrest. The day that I consider to be the first time that I truly felt like a mother. I know that sounds strange. Some people say that you become a mother on the day that you give birth. Some people say that you become a mother the day that you concieve, with all the sacrifices that a woman makes to take care of her unborn baby. For me, I was always the type of person to believe the latter. I sacrificed a lot to get pregnant, a lot to be pregnant, and I did think of myself as a mother from the time I found out that I was pregnant. Until April 27th. That was the day that I no longer just thought of myself as such, but I really felt it. At 23 weeks and 5 days pregnant I was having contractions and sent to the hospital. There I was, laying down in labor and delivery with doctors and specialists monitoring me and the girls. I was beyond horrified. Without giving the exact play by play that I can so vividly recall, I'll give the short version - I was given steroid injections to boost the girls lungs in case they weren't able to stop the contractions - I was doubled up on IV fluids and antibiotics - and I was put on Procardia, which is actually used as a blood pressure medication, but in this case it was used to stop the contractions. Luckily, the Procardia did the trick for the time being.
I lay in bed tonight, one year later, and I reflect on all of this. One year ago today, at this exact moment, I was in hysterics, terrified about what was to come, scared to death that my babies wouldn't make it. Tonight, I'm not quite in hysterics, but I'm emotional. I remember the exact room of labor and delivery that I was in. I remember the nurses and doctors that were on staff that night. And if I didn't remember, I have it all written down in a journal that I was keeping, which for some reason I feel the need to look back on and read - kind of like when you're sad and you can't help but pull out that old cd of the most depressing songs, then you listen to it, over and over and over again. Like a glutton for punishment I do look back on my journal, not that I need to. This date alone puts me back in that place. I can close my eyes and smell the hospital, feel the contraction monitor on my belly, hear the girls' heartbeats on the monitor and the crinkle of the paper as it would fold down from hours and hours of recording their heart rates - vivid, vivid memories - the things that aren't written down and can't be logged in my journal - they're all right there at the forefront of my mind. And when I cry tonight, it's for a very different reason. I cry tonight because just thinking about where we all were one year ago is still frightening. I cry tonight because in the next room I have two incredible, gorgeous, amazing little girls. I cry tonight because on April 27, 2009, I began feeling like a mother - and because today, April 27, 2010, I am.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
March Milestone Madness
Did I say in my last post that I'd give anything to have a sleepless night, holding and cuddling my girls?? Well, Maddie must've read the blog and decided to take my words literally. The girls had been fighting congestion for a few weeks. Every time we thought it was clearing up, it would come right back, but that's all it was - congestion - no fevers, nothing indicative of anything more than a cold. Until I typed the words that I'd love to have a night of holding my babies. I think it was actually the following night, Maddie developed a low grade fever - and beyond that, she was completely inconsolable. I spent my entire night with her laying on my chest - literally unable to put her down without her screaming and throwing a little mini temper tantrum - this was very unlike her. Melia tends to be the dramatic one, but not so much Maddie. So after a few attempts to put her down and seeing her reaction, I decided that if sleeping on my chest was what she needed to be able to rest comfortably, then so be it. The following day the girls happened to be scheduled for their final shot of synagis, so with that appointment already scheduled, I just called the doctor and asked that Maddie be seen for a medical visit while we were there. As suspected, Maddie had an ear infection. Dr. Luke gave us some amoxicillin and unfortunately, Maddie wasn't able to get her synagis shot that day. Melia still got her synagis shot since she was showing no signs of a fever or infection. Maddie went home with a 10 day supply of antibiotics and went back to the doctor once the medication was done - she was all cleared of the infection and got her last synagis shot on that day. Phew! RSV season is just about over and we made it through!!!
From the beginning of March it seems that the girls are doing something new every single day. It has been a very eventful month, and the title of this blog is true to it's name for sure! Before we left for vacation the girls were just about getting the hang of the spoon feeding thing, but then they got sick and wanted no part of it. So while we were away we decided to give them (and Grandpa and Grandma Rosie) a break from the spoon feeding. When we got back, we resumed and there was this huge difference. From the very first attempt they were there with their mouths wide open and asking for more, not even giving us time to get another spoon full. They're at the point now where the seem to enjoy their food more than their bottles. Dinner seems to be their favorite meal - something about that pureed meat in a jar does it for them I guess, because they L-O-V-E it!!
On St. Patrick's Day (which also happens to be daddy's birthday), Madison popped out her first 2 teeth!! I've been checking their mouths for teeth everyday because it's clear that they're teething. Their moods didn't really clue me off, because they were still in a good mood, but the drooling and the constant need to put anything and everything in their mouths was at an all time high. I had just checked their mouths the morning before and there was no sign of a tooth, but while Mike was home with them on St. Paddy's Day he felt Maddie's bottom two teeth! I couldn't believe it! She's such a champ - popped two teeth and didn't make so much as a peep! The drama queen on the other hand, she didn't handle it quite as well. About a week and a half later, on March 29th, Melia popped her bottom two teeth also. She had one really bad day where she was inconsolable, but the next day, the teeth had popped through and she was perfectly fine. So, all in all, the popping through of the bottom teeth went pretty well - I'd say that one day of being inconsolable isn't really much to complain about.
On March 20th we had Mike's family over for dinner to celebrate his birthday. We were all talking about how close the girls seemed to crawling. They weren't quite pulling themselves up on all fours yet, but they seemed like they were on the road there. Everyone left for the night and I brought the girls up to the nursey to change them into their jammers and it happened...I was changing Melia's diaper and I had Maddie in her crib...I looked over to her and there she was, up on all fours, rocking back and forth!! I called Mike upstairs, but by the time he came up, she collapsed onto her tummy. He took her out of the crib and put her on the floor and it didn't take but a couple minutes and sure enough, she did it again! And since that day, she's been on all fours constantly! She is trying soooo hard to crawl! If she could just realize that she needs to lift her hands and move her arms, she'd be in business! It's coming...it's coming really soon! Everyday I think it will be the day - hopefully she's waiting for the weekend so I can be home to see it. Probably not, but a mom can dream! :-) Over the next few days Melia tried to follow in her sister's footsteps - she would get up for a few seconds but couldn't quite hold the position long enough to get a good back and forth rock going on - but sure enough, a week later, on Mardh 27th, she was right there next to Maddie - two little crazy rocking babies!
On March 25th, Melia started sitting up on her own. She still gets a little wobbly at times, especially if she reaches for something, but she's pretty solid. Maddie just started doing the same over this past weekend (April 3rd)- she doesn't quite have it down as well as Melia, in fact, on Easter she took a couple head shots to the hardwood floor from toppeling over, but she's definitely getting more solid with it every day.
It was total March Madness at the Marcino's...and I can't wait to see what April has in store!
.
From the beginning of March it seems that the girls are doing something new every single day. It has been a very eventful month, and the title of this blog is true to it's name for sure! Before we left for vacation the girls were just about getting the hang of the spoon feeding thing, but then they got sick and wanted no part of it. So while we were away we decided to give them (and Grandpa and Grandma Rosie) a break from the spoon feeding. When we got back, we resumed and there was this huge difference. From the very first attempt they were there with their mouths wide open and asking for more, not even giving us time to get another spoon full. They're at the point now where the seem to enjoy their food more than their bottles. Dinner seems to be their favorite meal - something about that pureed meat in a jar does it for them I guess, because they L-O-V-E it!!
On St. Patrick's Day (which also happens to be daddy's birthday), Madison popped out her first 2 teeth!! I've been checking their mouths for teeth everyday because it's clear that they're teething. Their moods didn't really clue me off, because they were still in a good mood, but the drooling and the constant need to put anything and everything in their mouths was at an all time high. I had just checked their mouths the morning before and there was no sign of a tooth, but while Mike was home with them on St. Paddy's Day he felt Maddie's bottom two teeth! I couldn't believe it! She's such a champ - popped two teeth and didn't make so much as a peep! The drama queen on the other hand, she didn't handle it quite as well. About a week and a half later, on March 29th, Melia popped her bottom two teeth also. She had one really bad day where she was inconsolable, but the next day, the teeth had popped through and she was perfectly fine. So, all in all, the popping through of the bottom teeth went pretty well - I'd say that one day of being inconsolable isn't really much to complain about.
On March 20th we had Mike's family over for dinner to celebrate his birthday. We were all talking about how close the girls seemed to crawling. They weren't quite pulling themselves up on all fours yet, but they seemed like they were on the road there. Everyone left for the night and I brought the girls up to the nursey to change them into their jammers and it happened...I was changing Melia's diaper and I had Maddie in her crib...I looked over to her and there she was, up on all fours, rocking back and forth!! I called Mike upstairs, but by the time he came up, she collapsed onto her tummy. He took her out of the crib and put her on the floor and it didn't take but a couple minutes and sure enough, she did it again! And since that day, she's been on all fours constantly! She is trying soooo hard to crawl! If she could just realize that she needs to lift her hands and move her arms, she'd be in business! It's coming...it's coming really soon! Everyday I think it will be the day - hopefully she's waiting for the weekend so I can be home to see it. Probably not, but a mom can dream! :-) Over the next few days Melia tried to follow in her sister's footsteps - she would get up for a few seconds but couldn't quite hold the position long enough to get a good back and forth rock going on - but sure enough, a week later, on Mardh 27th, she was right there next to Maddie - two little crazy rocking babies!
On March 25th, Melia started sitting up on her own. She still gets a little wobbly at times, especially if she reaches for something, but she's pretty solid. Maddie just started doing the same over this past weekend (April 3rd)- she doesn't quite have it down as well as Melia, in fact, on Easter she took a couple head shots to the hardwood floor from toppeling over, but she's definitely getting more solid with it every day.
It was total March Madness at the Marcino's...and I can't wait to see what April has in store!
.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)